And there it was - instant dismissal

Last updated: 23/06/2015 10:18 by MichelleMcDonagh to MichelleMcDonagh's Blog
Filed under: MummyBloggers
It’s amazing how some childhood developments happen very gradually and others happen literally overnight.
 
Princess Firstborn (6) has been starting to spread her wings for some time now, but over the space of one weekend, she learnt how to fly (well to glide at least). It’s such a delicate balance between giving kids a bit of independence and keeping them safe.
 
While she has been on plenty of play dates in friend’s houses and hosted even more in our house, she has just had her first taste of real freedom outside the house and she is loving it. We live in an older, settled estate where most of the residents are retired and their children are grown up. There are very few young kids around the place, apart from grandchildren coming to visit.
 
Until now, Firstborn has not been allowed out of the front garden on her own without a ‘big person’ to keep an eye on her. I’m not as paranoid about ‘a man in a white van’ as I am worried about her being hit by a car.
 
Over the past few months, a little boy a year younger than her from about ten doors up has started calling down to play and bounce on our trampoline. We realised it was time to give Firstborn a little more independence so last weekend, we decided to start letting her go up the road on her own to call on her little pal. We barely saw her for the rest of the weekend! The two of them seem to have grown up overnight, thrilled at their newfound freedom.
 
Her friend and his mum live with his grandparents and as an only child, he is delighted with the company while Firstborn is ecstatic at getting out of the house and away from her two younger siblings. The two of them march proudly up and down the street between the two houses or across to the green a few metres from his house, carrying his nana’s patient little white Bichon Frise under their arm like a handbag.
 
While I do worry about her when she is outside and not within my sight, they are both responsible, sensible kids for their age and we have talked to them about stranger danger (hopefully without scaring the life out of them) and the dangers of the road.
 
It’s amazing how quickly it happened. Only last week, a trip to the local playground would have been a treat. Yesterday, I walked up to the garden where they were playing and asked if they wanted to come to the playground with our two smallies.
 
“No thanks,” they both replied very firmly, before going back to their game. Instant dismissal.
 
A small selfish part of me is sad to see Firstborn growing up so fast and asserting her independence but a bigger part of me is happy to see her happy, growing in confidence and making new friendships.
 
It was timely that over the same weekend, I happened to be reading Colman Noctor’s book Cop On about teaching kids how to survive and thrive in today’s world. His advice is “if we want our children to learn to become gradually more responsible, we need to give them gradually more power, which involves increasing their levels of involvement in and power over their own lives”.
 
Michelle McDonagh is a freelance journalist working from Blarney, Co Cork. She’s a mum of three children aged 2, 4 and 5, and a firm believer in 'good enough' parenting, bribery and the healing powers of chocolate.
 
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