Graduation blues

Last updated: 22/05/2015 12:25 by AoifeOCarroll to AoifeOCarroll's Blog
Filed under: MummyBloggers
My eldest son graduated from school this week.
 
My eldest son graduated from school this week.
 
No, it doesn't matter how many times I write or say those words, I just cannot get my head around the fact that my first baby is about to leave his uniform balled up on the floor for the last time. His school days are behind him forever.
 
There was a special Mass in the school on Tuesday night, and I watched in amazement as, one by one, fully grown men in sharp suits and pointy shoes loped confidently up the aisle to take their places with their proud/bewildered parents. Some students even wore pocket squares and bow ties. Who had kidnapped all the spotty little boys and replaced them with models/soccer stars?
 
Apart from the sartorial elegance on display, what struck me was their stunning lack of childishness; the barely-suppressed impulse to charge out and take over the world. These were not school boys. These were men. And one of them sat beside me.
 
Every now and then I would sneak my head sideways to look at my son. That only got me a view of his elbow, but when I craned my neck upward to see his face, I caught the same expression of impatient excitement; that delight at the prospect of escape.
 
I value our relationship, and I do want him to speak to me again, so I resisted the urge to throw my arms around him and smuggle him home, where I would confine him to his room and read Dr. Seuss and play Lego with him until he was 35. Instead I blinked steadily to stop the tears from turning me into the most embarrassing mother in the room and focused on the words of encouragement and praise in the students' Mass booklet on my lap.
 
The motto on the front of the booklet was: “Prepared to Embrace New Possibilities.” I took a mad swipe at my eyes, thanking God that Benefit's They're Real mascara can resist floods and earthquakes, and turned the leaflet over. On the back page were the words to the final song, “May We Never Have to Say Goodbye.”
 
I prefer that motto.
 
Aoife O'Carroll is a separated mum living in Co Kerry with her two boys aged 17 and 14, and a girl aged 10.
 
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