I know I need to reevaluate my life when…
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MummyBloggers
- My seven-year-old tells me I am always going out and the last outing I can remember included Tesco and the bank!
- My son tells me I look lovely when I dress up for a rare event I need to attend and I suddenly realise how mundane I look every other day.
- My daughter asks me what time exactly I will be home and then says, “that’s ages!” as if I am asking her to fend for herself.
- I drag the bags of shopping out from the car and no one comes out to help or even notices I am home.
- My kids look for attention when hungry or when they want something, but ignore me when I need something from them!
- Dinner isn’t ready on time, and my husband needs to make tea and have biscuits to carry him over the few minutes wait.
- My presence is really missed when it comes to tidy up time; as everyone looks around at the mess they say, “where’s Mum?”
- Even on my good days I look passable instead of glam.
- The beauty therapist tells me I have SO neglected my skin (as if I should be locked up for abuse and cruelty), but thankfully (for a small fortune) she agrees to do her best before my husband notices my self-abuse (I kid you not).
- My kids cannot think of anything I do other than cook, clean, do homework and put them to bed (thankfully this has changed since I started writing books).
- My underwear drawer contents double as house dusters and functional underwear (once washed) - oh the shame!
- Buying clothes is all about hiding what is underneath. Thank God for winter!
- I start blaming the lens angle on the camera for all shots I am in.
- I keep falling for claims made by miracle face creams and make-up products that just don’t seem to do the job on my face no matter how much I self-inspect.
- I apologise for my house being untidy if someone arrives unexpectedly, when in fact it is the norm.
- My son asks me if I need help getting out of bed based on my disengaged brain early in the mornings.
- My daughter asks me if my eyes are working yet and if she can turn on the light in my room – again, early morning!
- My kids ask me when I am going to be famous, and I reply under my breath: “when Mum gets five minutes to herself.”
- My kids tell everyone I am going to be famous and they all look at me like I am crazy.
- Even after styling my hair, it still looks better under a hat!
I could go on and on, but yes, I really do need a life!
Orla Kelly is the multi-tasking mum of Michael and Emer who likes to live in the moment and not take life too seriously. She is also a self published author and her latest book, Mommyville-On The Road To A PhD in Parenthood, is a humorous and heart-warming approach to real parenting issues.
