When it comes to divorce, the situation is never easy to navigate, especially when there are kids involved.
And while it’s an incredibly tough time for everyone, a split in the family can have a major impact on our children.
Here are some things you can do to make the transition a little easier.
Reassure them that they’re loved
It is common for children to place blame with themselves, believing that something they have done has caused the split.
It is so important to constantly reassure them they are loved by both of you.
Repeating it over and over will help squash any beliefs that they may have been the problem.
Avoid blame
While you should reassure your children they had nothing to do with the break-up, blaming someone else isn’t going to help either.
Remember that they love you both and will only become more confused if you start bad-mouthing the other parent.
Avoiding passing the blame will make the months ahead much easier.
Be honest
They will have questions, lots of them, and you should try to be as honest as is fair to them.
Being honest now will encourage them to be open with you in the future.
While they may be young, they will understand a lot more than you give them credit for.
Listen to them
Creating an open relationship will encourage them to come to you with other worries.
Make sure you really listen to what they are saying, and what they may be too scared to say.
Sometimes we can be so wrapped up with what we think needs to be done, that we don’t stop and ask our children what they actually need.
Make sure they feel comfortable coming to you, and that you take everything on board.
Create a structure
Since the day we gave birth, we’ve been told repeatedly about the importance of structure.
A change in family dynamic can be incredibly confusing for children, so try to form a solid structure for them, to make things easier.
While making up a schedule might be difficult for you to navigate, it will provide a huge amount of stability for your kids – giving them one less thing to be worried about.
Peaceful transition
Even if things are still volatile with your ex, make sure that that is not visible to the kids.
Whether you’re dropping them off for a night or doing a family dinner together, make sure that they see that you both can still be friends.
The priority is the kids, so remember that if you’re all together, it should be neutral ground.
