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How can I raise a good loser?

Usually, young children are more concerned with the fun involved in the game than winning or losing. However, every once in a while, you may notice that your child gets angry or frustrated when he or she loses at a game.

Since children learn by their parents’ examples, the most important thing you can do to ensure that your child is a good loser, is to be one yourself. If you handle losing with grace and good will, then it’s likely your child will take his or her cue from you. If you tend to throw tantrums about your losses, then he or she is unlikely to do any different. So even if you feel like screaming when something goes wrong, don’t do it in front of your child!

Letting your child win all the time may seem like the easy way out, however, the first time he or she plays against a friend, and loses, your child will not know how to handle it. Rather play according to the rules, and only let your child win occasionally, without letting him or her know you’re doing it. That way, your child will have experience in dealing with that kind of disappointment.

Choose games that you can play on a “friendly” basis – without taking score or keeping count. That way, your child learns that the game is the objective – not whether he or she wins or loses.

Children need to learn that not everyone can win all the time, and that sometimes, they will lose. You can help them to gain the skills to lose with grace, if you follow these tips.

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