Postpartum women may experience an aversion to sex for months. A study done on new mothers showed that 20 percent had little or no desire for sex three months after delivery, while another 21 percent showed no interest at all in sex.
Tiredness and fatigue play a big part in how a new mother feels about sex. Looking after an infant is very tiring and there is a lot of physical contact involved. The constant attention that a baby needs drains a mother both physically and emotionally. When a mother has a little time to herself at night – between night time feeding and nappy changing – anything physical, such as sex, is off the agenda.
There are also biological reasons why new mothers avoid sex. After pregnancy and the trauma of giving birth, a woman's body needs to heal and recover. Hormonal changes that take place after pregnancy are big, and these affect women in different ways.
Experiencing drastic mood swings and emotional highs and lows are common. Since your body is recovering from childbirth, intercourse will be painful and uncomfortable if attempted too soon after delivery. All these factors will make a woman feel unattractive and sexually undesirable.
Fear of becoming pregnant again can be conscious or subconscious. Wild animals rarely mate when rearing their young. Humans probably have the same instinctive conditioning; it prevents the mother from going through the burden of pregnancy before her body has healed and recovered.
Your natural libido will return but the exact time that happens varies between new mothers. It depends on how the baby was delivered and how much trauma your body went through. Other factors play a part too, such as how supportive your spouse is, and possible postpartum depression.