You asked

Nothing went according to plan with my birth. How can I deal with it now?

Every woman has a plan, and a dream, of how her birth should go. Unfortunately sometimes even the best laid plans go awry. If your natural birth became an emergency caesarean, or your home birth turned into a hospital birth with an epidural then you’re probably not happy about it. That’s normal, but there are ways you can get over the frustration, anger and disappointment.
 
The first step is to let your body heal. Difficult births, like c-sections and those that require episiotomies and other procedures, put additional strain on your body. Give yourself time to heal physically. Follow your doctor’s advice and accept help when it’s offered. Focus on yourself and your baby, ask a friend or family member to help out with other children and your house, or hire help. Whatever it takes to heal, including diet and doctor visits, should be your first priority.
 
If you are really hurt by the loss of your dream birth, acknowledge those feelings and give yourself time to mourn. You need to get over it and that takes time. Ignore people who tell you that at least your child is healthy and deal with your feelings first.
 
One of the best ways to deal with it is to talk to someone. Whether it’s your partner, your mother or a professional, sharing your disappointment with someone who will listen is a great way to unburden yourself. If the birth was particularly traumatic, such as an emergency c-section, then a group or one on one therapy session may be just what you need to get over the trauma.
 
Focus on the positive. When you have had time to think about the birth and talk about your feelings about it, it does help to focus on what went right. The fact that your baby was born healthy is a major point, but there are sure to be others that you can consider.
 
Don’t feel guilty. If you needed an assisted birth, drugs, a caesarean or anything else during the birth, it’s not your fault. Childbirth is not a test and if you need a little help due to medical reasons you have absolutely nothing to feel bad about.
 
Finally, don’t take anyone’s judgements to heart. Everyone has someone who makes a snide comment about your ‘failure’ to have a natural birth or your need of an epidural. Everyone is different, and the fact that you couldn’t have your dream birth is nothing to be ashamed of. It’s also none of their business. You are as great a mom as they are and your child is as healthy and happy. Leave it at that and move on.

More questions

If you have sensitive skin, less is more when it comes to ingredients for sensitive-skin cleansers. Mild ingredients such as green tea, aloe, and chamomile can be beneficial for sensitive skin and staying away...
Hyaluronic acid naturally occurs in our skin and joints. As we age, our body produces less of it, which results in the appearance of fine lines on faces and creaky knees. When applied to skin, hyaluronic acid...
The main purpose of facial serums is to get added nutrients into deeper layers of your skin that a regular moisturiser is not able to reach. Moisturisers have large molecules, so can only penetrate the first...
Although it is not necessary to apply a serum, they have a number of benefits associated with them. Serums are liquid products that contain ingredients such as vitamins and anti-oxidants that have small molecules. Unlike moisturisers, serums penetrate deep into the layers of the skin and can be used to treat skin ailments such as redness, dehydration or lack of firmness, wrinkles, dark spots or just to brighten the skin.
 
Mummypages recommends APIVITA natural serums which are available in Marks and Spencer. These provide maximum results and unique cosmetic care to the skin. They contain a high concentration of natural active ingredients and offer four natural serums to meet the specialised needs of your skin and give your skin a natural boost.
 
 
 
 
Serums are said to reduce wrinkles and fine lines that come with aging. They are a relatively new addition to our health and beauty regimes and can be costly. So, to take the stress out of choosing one...
A facial serum can reach into deeper layers of skin that a regular moisturiser is not able to get to. A serum, which should be applied after your toner and before your moisturiser, therefore can get added...
Maintaining the health and vibrant appearance of coloured hair can be a challenge. Naturally, we want our colour to last as long as possible, especially with the high costs involved. Using hair products...
Dandruff is the shedding of dead skin cells from the scalp causing flakes of skin to appear. This is a very common condition that can occur chronically or as a result of certain triggers and can cause redness...
The right hair colour can transform your appearance by brightening up your skin tone, covering those unwanted grey strands and making your eye colour pop. However, a visit to the hairdresser can put a big dent...
The bun is one hairstyle that never seems to go out of fashion, and this summer was no exception. The high wide bun made a triumphant appearance on every red carpet and it looks like it’s here to stay. To...

Latest

Trending