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5 festive threats that every mum makes at Christmas time

Are you exhausted already? Christmas has only just begun, and you are already regretting participating. The place is a mess and you only have a few short days left to get ready for the big day. The following threats are some of the many gifts bestowed upon us during the festive season. You hate to be a scrooge, but if mums and dads can’t take this opportunity to milk these five Christmas threats before they expire, we may not make it through the next few days!

‘Santa is Watching’

We love this one. However, parents can take advantage of this festive threat for a short while only. We can hand the parenting burden of discipline over to ole’ St Nick- but not for long so, milk it while you can. The best part is kids take this one seriously!

‘You’ll get a lump of coal in your stocking’

This is a staple in our homes at this time of year. The kids have heard a story- probably from an uncle or grandad. A tale of Christmas past when someone was ‘bold’ and discovered coal in their stocking. This is another threat that your little ones will listen to as it is their worst nightmare!

‘I will turn this car around’

Driving home for Christmas? You will end up uttering these infamous words at some point. You know you’d never do it, not after all the effort it took to pack the car, not to mention organising the trip. When you say this, you will be shocked and alarmed because you will sound EXACTLY like your mother. Do not be afraid... as a parent, you have the right to use this legendary threat. Make sure you avail of these rights before the kids realise the threat is empty.

‘Christmas will be CANCELLED’

Yes, yes this one is mean. But try not to judge us at the most stressful time of year. They are driving you up the wall and you are having flash-forwards to Christmas Day where you crack like a Christmas cracker. Though you may not have the power to cancel Christmas, this threat is powerful. They have waited so long for Christmas Day that they might chill for a few minutes at the thought of it never coming.

‘Santa will take it back!’

This is for the littler ones who have not yet realised that there is no way Santa will be taking the toy back. We use this when the toy that Santa so carefully made is the reason for whatever squabble is occurring between siblings or cousins. There is panic the moment you say it and your child will cling to the precious toy (before discarding it and never playing with it again) and you may actually get a moments peace.



With her daughter Evie as her muse, Anna writes about mumhood and all its intersections from mental health to movies, social issues to pop culture. Anna lives in Dublin with her daughter, partner, three younger sisters and parents. She is a dreadful cook, a fair guitar player and thinks caffeine should be given as a yearly vaccine to parents - courtesy of the HSE.

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