Ah yes. You may not remember a time where you got upset over your needs not being met. Your boyfriend didn't call when he was supposed to. A friend cancelled plans. Weird how our pre-mothering selves were so 'needy'. Becoming a mother seems to eradicate that sense of 'what about me?'. I had always intended when I started my blog, that I wanted to empower other mothers to take time out for themselves. So I'm here to remind you (and myself) of a few things.
1. Basic human needs, ie Food. Real food Mamas.
Not leftover chicken nuggets that your toddler didn't finish. You need REAL food. Every day. Mad isn't it? You need sleep. God do you need it. You need to shower. At least twice a week! I know, it's not easy! But just do it. I promise you'll feel better. Put a stair-gate on the stairs so the kids don't fall down. Get into that shower. Scatter some toys, do what you have to do to get that 10 minutes. Let your children amuse themselves while you make some lunch for yourself. Yes, they'll probably fuss and whine, they'll get used to it. We can only be really good mother's if we ourselves are happy and healthy. So start putting some time in your calendar for your basic needs.
What's that I hear you say? Take your time when you can. Kids are napping? Make a cuppa and sitdown. You'll catch up on the housework another time. The most important part of your downtime will be the quite. Silence. Your mind has a chance to calm and reset. Once you have your 5/10 minutes of quite, you're refreshed and ready to go again.
Being a Stay-At-Home-Mum is not easy because of this. Many women feel so isolated. You need to get out of the house (preferably on your own). Go to the shop, buy some groceries. Talk to people. Make a point of getting out for coffee or lunch with a friend. Catch up and share your news and struggles. I love time alone (because I rarely get it) so I have to push myself sometimes to get out.
4. Love and appreciation.
All we ask for in return for everything we do is a bit of love and a thank you. I am my own worst enemy. I need to do everything. Accept no help because it wouldn't be done the way I want it done. I need to take a step back and allow the help. The way we act determines how others treat us.
5. Personal growth.
Find what you love. I knew I was going to need something to keep my brain active and that's really why I started this blog. And to help others but mainly to help myself. Keep exploring and keep developing yourself. I have never had this time to really find out who I am. Without the kids, without the career, who am I? So I'm on that journey now, and think it'll be the most important work I ever do.