Before I was a mum I used to wash my hair

Before I had my kids I used to wash my hair every day.
I mean Every. Single. Day.
Wash. Blow-dry. And straighten too. Products. The lot. 
Oh the luxury! 
Clean hair. Peaceful shower. Body lotion even. 
It’s hard to imagine now, and I certainly didn’t appreciate the luxury of it at the time.

But those days are gone. Now I often go for three days without washing my hair, and spend a lot of time wearing a hat, which is sort of okay in winter, but not such a great look in say, mid-August. I have a streak of grey which grows thicker and thicker, another unfortunate by-product of parenthood, but a three hour trip to the hair salon is another luxury I no longer have time for. Not to mention the cash…
So I trot around with a dirty, messy up-style….not so bad when you consider that I’m mostly dressed in ill-fitting skinny jeans or worse, the latest depth to which I’ve sunk, leggings! Oh the shame! I swore I’d never…

I am, however, a glass half full kinda gal, so I’m pushing the 'at least my crap hair is on point with my crap clothes' vibe! You have to  see the positive side don’t you? And what does it matter (here’s another positive coming) how bad you look when the most dressy up place you’re ever seen in is the middle aisle of Aldi? But then there are still mirrors…occasionally I catch a glimpse of myself as I dash quickly past the one that hangs in my hall (if it’s not obscured by a pile of ironing) on my way out the door and I don’t like what I see.
It’s just not ‘me’. Or not the ‘me’ I used to be …

Back in the day, along with clean hair, I favoured girlie dresses and cute heels. I wore jangly jewellery, and carried teeny handbags which could barely carry my mobile phone, never mind a packet of Pampers wipes, a couple of spare pairs of leggings (kids ones, obviously), a bottle of water, four dodies, rice cakes, hankies, raisins…

Life now, much like my current handbag of choice, is about being practical. My mummy uniform has become: Big handbag (as discussed), hair tied up so it doesn’t get in the way, no jangly jewellery ( the kids will just pull at it until they snap it), flat shoes for quick movement, skinny jeans for no other reason than I don’t have to think about it! Whatever top is clean (ish). Being over-weight is just a by-product of mum-life. No me-time, no exercise, putting the kids first.

Lots of coffee, lots of sugar…treats as rewards for getting through the long days, because a night out is no longer an option, no money for new outfits, or luxury treats. My kids don’t want me to leave them to go to the gym or go out running and I tell myself that one day they won’t want me around and that will be the time I’ll revisit exercise and fitness…but I worry that by then it will be too late….I don’t want to be the fat, messy mum.

My girls are getting older. They are becoming aware of style and appearance. I dread the day when one of them is embarrassed for me to pick her up from school or a party. 

Worse still is simply not having the energy to play games with them. To run, to dance, to be in a good mood…I’m not fit and it takes all the energy I have to make it through each day, to remain patient, do all the things that have to be done for them, in the house, tidy up a room full of Lego, sometimes twice…. It’s a vicious circle but I understand we make choices in life. I suppose I choose to give what little energy there is to them and there’s nothing left over for blow-drying my hair or jogging. I’m hoping my kids will thank me for it and I can be fabulous at 50….I guess we’ll have to wait and see. 

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