Most mums will have no doubt been told that as soon as their baby arrives they will be overwhelmed with love and joy for this tiny human being that you just gave birth to.
But what if you don’t feel that connection right away?
Does it mean you don’t love your newborn as much as a mum who instantly bonded?
No. It definitely does not mean you love your child any less.
Having a baby is a hugely overwhelming, life-changing thing to happen. Your emotions and hormones will be all over the place and you can be physically and mentally exhausted.
If you are feeling a little distant, the following tips should help you cope better.
1. Tell someone you trust
It can be difficult saying the words 'I don't feel like I'm bonding with my baby', but the longer you keep it to yourself the harder you will find it to cope. Talk to a family member or friend or if you don't feel confident opening up with someone so close, mention it to your midwife of GP. You are not the first person nor will you be the last to have concerns about bonding with Baby. Be completely honest with your feelings as it may signal an underlying problem such as postnatal depression.
2. Go easy on yourself
If can be easy to blame yourself for not feeling that instant connection but that is the last thing you should do. You have just spent the last nine months growing a human being, your hormones are going up and down and now you have to go about your daily tasks with very little sleep.Give yourself a chance to get used to your new role as a mum and the bond will come. Enjoy a little 'me-time' if you can; ask for help with domestic chores or even for an hour a day to give yourself a shower.
3. Give yourself a chance to recover
You have just given birth to a human being, and if you had a particularly traumatic labour you will no doubt be feeling sore and emotional, and that's even before you have to deal with your ever-changing emotions.
4. Don't let it consume your head
Try to avoid letting your struggle to bond with Baby consume your entire thought process - this will just exaggerate things. Spend time with your baby, massaging them, changing them and just cuddling them. Stop thinking 'when will I feel this connection?' and just enjoy now - time will heal.
