“The moment a child is born,

The mother is also born.

She never existed before.

The woman existed,

But the Mother,

Never.

A Mother is something new.” – Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh

 

Shortly after the birth of my first baby I came across this quote somewhere in the abyss of online parenting phrases while simultaneously googling;

 

“What does it mean when by baby’s poop is *insert colour of choice here.”

 

 

The moment those words absorbed through to my heavily hormone saturated brain I thought; Yes! Yes, that’s it! That’s just how I feel. Curiously I was relieved. Relieved that right there in front of me were clear, unobtrusive words arranged into neat, comprehensible sentences that described my previously inexplicable feelings.

 

I appreciated the clarification – the ability to finally grasp the complexities of the emotions that had taken hold in my body the moment my baby had vacated her residence.

 

For a long time – before ever even considering children in my future – I had a feeling that something was missing from my adult life, or more specifically some piece of me was missing.

 

That all changed when my first baby was born. In becoming a mother, I had become ‘me’ entirely – more than I had ever been before. I became the person I was always meant to be yet never even knew could exist.

 

 

The term ‘clicked into place’ never had a more relevant scenario to describe.

 

Dramatic? Quite possibly. True? Completely and utterly. This revelation was amazing on so many levels – but a small part of me felt conflicted. I wondered if I was, in some way, letting my gender down by feeling this way?

 

Everywhere I looked, every article I read, there were reassurances that it was perfectly normal not to feel complete by motherhood, that becoming a mother was simply another aspect of a woman, that women should not be defined by motherhood – and I agreed with all of it.

 

Mothers are more than mothers. They are wives, girlfriends, aunts, nieces, friends, sisters, daughters. They are doctors, bankers, cleaners, entrepreneurs, shop assistants, fire-fighters, nurses, labourers.

 

Women are, so much more than anyone thing – but, for me, the absolute and most important title is; Mother. It surprised me more than anyone how becoming a mother made me feel. I was almost embarrassed to admit that I wanted to leave my job, give up all the hard work I’d put in, over the years, in college to stay at home with my baby.

 

But, a couple of years on and after the addition of another baby to our family, I’ve realised something very important, possibly the most important lesson any new mother can learn – I’m not letting anyone down by feeling this way. Women are women, yes, but most importantly women are individuals and will, therefore, all be individual mothers. We are all different!

 

How I feel shouldn't be determined by anyone else. How I feel is, just that, how I feel.

 

In fact to ignore, hide or be embarrassed by my feelings is what would truly be an insult to my gender and myself. I am allowed to feel complete by motherhood. I am allowed to feel like I am someone more now, someone new – someone better.

 

Because I am a woman, I am a mother and I am me.

Michelle is a former scientist turned stay-at-home mom to her two beautiful daughters. A blogger and aspiring novelist her girls are her ultimate inspiration and motivation.

  • Total Article Views:6k
  • Average View Time:1m 8s

Latest

Trending

Hello Mama!
Help us help you by allowing us and our partners to remember your device as having browsed MummyPages and serve you better content and ads

We're on a mission to help our mums and their families thrive by informing, connecting and entertaining.

Join us in our mission by consenting to the use of cookies and IP address recognition by us and our partners to serve you content (including ads) best suited to your interests, both here and around the web.

We promise never to share any other information that may be deemed personal unless you explicitly tell us it's ok.

If you want more info, see our privacy policy.