Dan’s just come home from work and taken the kids to Tesco. The house is silent. I feel really bad because the last three days I’ve been ill. Not just a sniffle, like really ill. I think I’ve been hit by the flu. I’m actually feeling a bit more human this afternoon, apart from the hot flushes that keep waving over me. It means the kids have missed out on fun because of me being sick. Normally I can shake it and get on with it, but this one, nope.
It’s hard, when your kids are ill you are with them constantly soothing them and making sure they are ok. When your husband is ill you look after them. When your ill, your husband is at work, you have kids and you still have to be mum. I feel so guilty just wanting peace and quiet so I can rest and sleep.
I can’t help but feel like I have failed them as a mum for taking a sick day, well a sick couple of hours. I feel like it’s as if I’m not allowed to be ill. Yesterday they had their Kindle Fires and ran around naked. I didn’t have the energy to get myself dressed, let alone them. Luckily my mum came over, helped with the housework and played with the kids while I got my head down for an hour.
Today I managed to get them out, only to my mums, but it still got them out. They had so much fun and watching them play in the garden with each other and giggle and run around made my day. Their little smiles were the only medicine I needed today.
Now I am sitting here alone, in silence. The guilt slowly lifting. We don’t have to feel guilty for having sick days. We are human, it happens. We are so hard on ourselves as mums, we are always trying to do everything perfectly. Well, every day isn’t going to be perfect, everyone has to rest and take a sick day every now and again. That’s what I’ve done, taken some time to recharge and get better. Remember, even God had to throw a rest day into his creation.
One day at a time.