On Tuesday, I turned 35 and it made me think. Am I where I want to be in my life? Where do I want to be in my life? Am I actively pursuing that or those goals?
I know that I am very proud of what I have achieved in my life so far, but because I am now a stay at home mum does that mean it’s the end of my personal/professional goals? I know it shouldn’t, but realistically, is it?
I did my final exams and didn’t get the points I wanted so I repeated and Thank God, the second time around, I pulled my socks up, put my head down and did great. I did my University Degree in Economics and Psychology, followed by a Masters in Business Studies, so for those academic achievements, I am very proud. I also followed these with a Higher Diploma in Digital Marketing as well as a Diploma in Fashion Styling so all in all I have no regrets.
Socially, I would consider myself very sociable and spent most, if not all of my twenties having fun with my friends and letting my hair down. So I can never say Oh, I wish I had more fun or went out more because I did just that. I travelled a bit but spent summers in the States when I was in college and worked in Spain for a few months here and there over the years with friends so no regrets there.
Personally, and more recently, I met the man of my dreams, got married, and we together have 3 beautiful children, so we have been busy but again delighted with our lives and what we have achieved so far.
However, after working full time for almost 12 years, I know as a Mum now, I wouldn’t like to work full time again, that’s just my choice, as for me, I just wouldn’t be able to be away from the kids for that long.
So, my options professionally would be part-time work only and can you really do great things working part-time? In my opinion, with a part-time job, you are not really on board enough to get stuck in, make your mark, make a difference and like with most things I do, I would find it hard not to be able to give something as significant as your job 100%. I know I would not be happy nor my employer. Also, I would love to have another baby in the future.
So where does this leave me? Starting my own business, perhaps. However, for this to be successful, it's nearly more hours than a full-time role and there is the small matter of a good idea.
I know this is turning into a post about the age-old debate of “can we have it all?” but I suppose that’s where I am. If I choose to stay at home with my babies, then the price is my professional career, its that simple really, tough to swallow but simple.
Does that mean, I did all that study and hard work for nothing?
Unless, I come up with that clever business idea that allows me to still give most of my time to my family, at least while they are still babies anyway. By the way, this is totally the same, in my opinion, for men who choose to be stay at home dads. It's unbelievably rewarding, and as a parent, you will never get those early years back, so I wouldn’t change it but it's just a big price to pay, don’t you think?
For now, for me at least, I am where I want to be and I suppose I will always have my qualifications in my back pocket for when the kids are older and that is something that no one can ever take away from me.
- Are you a stay at home parent?
- Have you put your professional career on hold for now or maybe forever?
- Are you a stay at home parent that is thrilled to not have to be enduring the 9-5 anymore?
I'd love to hear your thoughts on this.