What is a perfect mum?


It is actually just a label given mostly by other mums.  They don’t exist, we are all just surviving and doing the best we can.  I personally don’t care if you take your kids to school in PJs or drink wine in the evening. I would never give a name for a mum that does those things. I am far from perfect but yes, I am mega organised, I love to do arts and crafts with the kids, bake, read, exercise and the list of things I enjoy goes on. Some mums enjoy wine, I enjoy sewing, at the end of the day, it’s about finding “me” time for a release.   I don’t choose to rant about my kids on social media as I personally wouldn't want them to be upset or shamed if they found it in the future.  I want to remember the good moments so no I’m not going to post pictures mid-tantrum on the Internet.  If someone chooses to, that is their decision and maybe it helps let off some steam so they can move on. I don’t drink wine at all but I don’t frown upon those that do, I am organised and have it together as it’s what makes my life enjoyable and manageable. 


My kids can be a complete nightmare and I’m not hiding that fact - I simply don’t advertise because everyone knows what it’s like to be a parent.  I’m not surprised mums don’t have a “village” to raise our kids now, when we separate each other and try to find reasons not to be friends.  I had enough bad moments when my kids were babies and found it tough them being 11 months apart. They both had colic, reflux and lactose intolerance.  I’m mega proud that I got through this time and I’m happy with my family.  I shouldn’t be made to feel bad because I enjoy different things and have it together now.  I’m also not comparing my situation to others I know many other mums have it tougher, but that time in my life was probably the toughest I faced.  The good and bad times have made me into the parent I am, and I know sometimes they drive me insane, I know it will pass as with nothing lasts forever.


Has anyone actually tried to befriend a perfect mum as they are most probably just like you and me? We don’t need to be “perfect”, we don’t need to be “honest” we need to show our kids how to be accepting and compassionate to others no matter their differences as everyone is just surviving the best they can.  Parenting is not a competition so let’s not separate ourselves further by categorising mums you don’t know.  This isn’t even just relevant to perfect and real this even applies in other areas such as how a baby is fed or sleeps.  Just leave the parents to be parents in a way they feel best.    


Not everyone will get on, but don’t generalise and exclude an entire group just because of how they do things. Instead of perfect or real, how about we just call them “mum”?

I'm Michelle 32, married. I gave up work as a veterinary care assistant to be a full time mum. I have two kids a boy and girl, they are 11months apart which has been a challenging adventure but is mostly amazing.

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