There has been a lot of defining moments thus far in the short three and a half years I have been a Mother.
Most memories, post birth, are happy ones. However, one piece of the twins early little lives that replays over and over, is when I hear another mother desperate to know why their child screams, seemingly in pain, morning noon and night I am brought right back to when my twins were newborns.
It is those doubts, whether you are a first-time parent, a seasoned pro with a large family or just unsure, as your other children never displayed anything other than textbook new-born, poop, eat, and sleep, that possibly causes delays in getting the right help for your child.
All babies cry, no, they don't cry all the time!
All babies have wind, no, they don't have wind all the time!
It's "Only" Colic. All babies have it when they are newborns. No, they don't.
He/she is a new-born they won't sleep for ages. Neither should they be so unsettled that the only comfort they get is being upright every hour of the day.
Five days after we were home and our little girl was eleven days old, we ended up back in hospital after she stopped feeding. She would pull off the breast, never latch for long and one day stopped feeding. Silent Reflux was diagnosed, we were advised to use an over the counter medication with her feeds and she did settle. But the story doesn't end there, thankfully we had one baby who was settling, however, her twin brother screamed so much when he was laid down in his Moses basket, we felt helpless.
His spews would empty his stomach of its entire feed. He would have hiccups and arch his back contorting and twisting in obvious pain. He would get little sleep, and desperate for sleep he would be cross. His little screams, tight fists clenched, and scrunched up face, will be an image we will never forget. This didn't just happen at night, this was all the time, every day. Just when he would settle, it would be feed time and this vicious cycle of pain would start again.
And then we had a name, Reflux.
Before we got to this diagnosis, we had tried all the over-the-counter medication and dismissed colic, you name it we tried it. Nothing worked. We bought reflux blocks online to help keep the cots titled. We kept him upright for thirty minutes after every single feed and winded as much as we could. All this helped a little but at nearly three months old we were back to our GP. This time we were prescribed Losec. There was no doubt in our mind that he needed to go on scripted medication. I only wish I had known more about reflux earlier on to help my son sooner. At last, we were on medication and we prayed that the end of his pain and suffering was in sight and guess what, it did. It didn't matter that we had to pay €144 per month for this medication, as long as it took away the pain from our son and he could feed and sleep we were happy.
Our lack of knowledge of reflux meant initially I blamed myself. Suffering from very bad indigestion I was on Losec at the end of my pregnancy. I had a C –Section and the twins were breech and transverse, all things I had read somewhere which could potentially cause reflux in babies but I no longer hold that view. The twins were born at thirty-five weeks, their digestive systems and guts were premature and I have accepted this as contributing to their gut issues. Full-term children suffer from reflux too, unfortunately.
Luckily for us, at thirteen months our reflux nightmare was over. Teething would cause flare-ups but thankfully they were short-lived. To this day thankfully reflux symptoms are few and far between, outside of the occasional hiccups and I can only pray that it doesn't ever come rearing its head in this household again. Not only did reflux cause our babies unbearable pain, it caused us to doubt ourselves. And this is where social media has its uses because on many an occasion where we were up with our children during the night, trying desperately to settle them, we found other parents having gone through similar and read medical documents to gain knowledge and educate ourselves.
If you suspect your baby is suffering from reflux I would highly recommend taking a video of them. As distressing as it will be, there is nothing more concrete to show a medical profession what happens at home. Steps you can also take whilst awaiting a diagnosis would be;
Tilting the cot safely (I bought Reflux blocks online)
Winding often during a feed
Keep your baby upright after a feed.
Early weaning may actually do more harm to the gut than good, so it is noted in a baby with reflux you should wait until the recommended age guidelines to start weaning.
Education on reflux friendly foods is essential once weaning starts
It is important to note if you do end up with your child on medication, it generally is weight sensitive, meaning you may need to increase the dose, upon your doctor's instruction as your child grows.
Of course, in a lot of cases over the counter medication does help, and GOR (a milder form of Reflux, although hellish in its own right) can resolve in the first few months. GORD which our son had, unfortunately, is a longer journey but we got through it, once the proper medication was in place.
We have been through reflux and I want you to know that you and your little one will get through it and for any first-time parent out there, knowledge is power.
Please share if you know anyone who may benefit from reading about our experience.
