Is this you: 'I feel guilty if I take any time out from the children’? 
Parenting & Guilt
Bin the Guilt! See it differently, and see that if you do not take some time out for yourself, you are in fact letting yourself down, not letting anyone else down. So, book the class, meet the friend, and go for an evening stroll alone or with someone to enjoy some time to recharge the battery. Think of it like a car- if there is nothing in the tank, the car will not function. You need take care of you, and then you can take care of everyone else!
Working women & guilt
When I run corporate courses I hear a lot about working women feeling guilty - never the men. Men know they need to get to the gym, play the soccer or tennis, the round of golf or simply take some time for themselves. Women are great at spotting everyone else's needs but lousy at spotting their own. If your partner heads out for a game of football and you are irritated - instead of blaming him - see it that maybe he is doing something that you need to do more of! If you find it difficult, there may be a deeper issue, 'how is it you find it so hard to take care of yourself?
All Parenting begins with the Parent
Do you take care of yourself? If so it will be mirrored in how well you look after yourself daily.
Do you take care of yourself physically?
- Moderate in food and alcohol?
- Have you found an exercise you enjoy?
- Do you rush and race, drive too fast?
- Do you ask for help and support if you need it and rest when tired?
- Do you take too much on, never say No and operate from tiredness & overload?
Do you believe in yourself & how capable you are?
How do you respond when someone asks you to do something? Do you immediately say’ I cannot do it’ or do you think ‘Yes, I could do that’?
If you believe you can do it, you probably can. If you think you cannot, then you probably cannot.
Always focus on your effort, not the performance.
Remind yourself that you are someone special
If you value yourself, you are connected into your specialness. You have a quiet social presence, you relate to others as equals and with respect. You enjoy enduring friendships that sustain you when times are tough.
Every thought we think is creating our future!
Do you know that our deepest need is for unconditional love? That means to feel loved for who we are, not loved for what we do. Most of us were brought up on a diet of conditional love where we felt accepted for the good school report etc. Therefore, we need change that to a feeling of acceptance for who we are, not for what we do.
Are you hard on yourself?
Notice what you have done, not the other way round!
The bottom line for everyone is “I’m not good enough” but good enough for who? Stop criticising yourself, and instead say “I handled that well” or “I did my best”. Accept yourself exactly as you are.
Take time for a hobby or an interest
Cooking, a little gardening, play or listen to music, some art, time for sport, etc. Take time out for an old interest or develop a new one as challenging yourself is important in making you feel competent and confident. Take time for yourself, no one deserves it more.
Time to relax and reflect is essential
We all know that taking three deep slow breaths releases all tension and helps us to let go of stress and pressure. Taking time to relax is essential, to keep stress at bay.
Treat yourself
Treat yourself well- it will mean you will do the same for others as how we are with ourselves, is how we are with others
Ease up on yourself
When you learn to have a gentler relationship with yourself, you will mirror that softness & gentleness to others. Parenting yourself will result in feeling better about you. Parenting yourself will raise your level of self-esteem. In addition, it will positively influence your child’s levels of self-esteem also.
