Relationships can be hard at the best of times, but when you bring home a newborn, things like sleep deprivation, unexplained (often relentless) crying and differing opinions on how to handle things, the relationship stakes go up a notch!
Of course, it's normal for lots of things to change with the arrival of kids and your relationship is just another one of those parts to fall prey to them; however, one of the changing elements I wasn't prepared for was our way of communicating!
Prior to our daughter arriving, we were certainly not the sort of couple who minced their words, and never failed to tell the other when they were irritating the cr*p out of us! We are straight shooters and take pride in that, as it means we always know where we stand. However, since we've become parents, our favourite way of communicating these irritations tends to be via our daughter! We're not proud ourselves for this but we also can't stop!
I catch myself saying things like 'Daddy is so silly thinking you can go out without a coat' or 'oh so Daddy didn't want to check you had wipes in your bag' ... 'If Daddy leaves another wet towel on the floor mummy is going to leave him for the milkman' (you get the idea). He's usually standing inches away from me as I say this, but somehow saying it via my daughter feels less nagging! Don't feel too sorry for him though, as he will also do this; 'mummy hasn't put her dirty cup in the dishwasher' or 'mummy has hidden daddy's keys again' etc etc.
Now when she was a baby and didn't have a clue what we were saying, it wasn't an issue. Add to that the fact that generally, the comments we made were (mostly) funny and light hearted, there was no harm done! But as time's gone on and our sanity has wavered, plus the fact she's now a toddler (and a parrot), we need to watch ourselves as she'll quite often repeat what we say and not all our comments are as PG as the examples used (hangs head in shame)! It's a work in progress but we'll get there.
Please tell me we're not the only ones that do this!!