Before I became a parent, the word ‘sponge’ had a totally different meaning. What had always been an object, is now a single syllable adjective describing the mind of my three-year-old.
This is both amazing and terrifying at the same time. She literally copies everything I do. EVERYTHING. Including every single bad habit I have developed over a lifetime.
I have never felt more responsible for anything! As parents, there are so many things that we hope our little ones pick up on, and plenty of things that we hope they do not.
Here are five ways we should practise what we preach while parenting!
1. Patience
My goodness, toddlers lack patience! Come to think of it… so do parents of toddlers. It used to be perfectly acceptable to answer a whiny ‘why??’ with ‘because I said so’. We now know it’s more productive to give an impatient child an explanation for why they need to wait (its loading) or why they must wear a coat (no coat = sick= bed all day).
It’s easy to snap. After a sleepless night because someone was thirsty, coupled with a breakfast of leftover toast, we can all become slightly agitated when they take their shoe off for the fourth time- DEEP BREATHS, MUMS!
One thought remains: monkey see, monkey do! And my monkey has become more patient since I have. Being patient with your baby’s impatience will certainly rub off!
2. Hygiene
“But I didn't touch the toilet seat?” … please tell me my daughter isn’t the only kid who makes this excuse to avoid washing her hands?!
It’s often hard to get people who adore dirt to consider hand-washing. It’s a battle, and the only way I could get my daughter to wash her chubby hands was to turn the ordeal into a game that left the bathroom or kitchen looking like a scene from Noah’s Ark.
Hand washing, before eating and after using the loo, protects our babies from all things germy. None of us like the thought of our precious humans getting sick. E.coli is a parent’s true enemy.
Here’s when those sponge-like minds can be a blessing! If I wash my own hands, my daughter wants her turn. She especially thinks anything her Dad does is cool (typical), so I have found getting him to scrub up with soap and water, can influence her to do the same and he’s never been cleaner!
Making hand-washing a (less flood-like) game can also be great way to keep clean! I Introduced my little one to Rufus the Messy Monster, a character who is also reluctant to wash his hands and who gets help from his Daddy Monster. Now when I see her and her dad washing up after playing in the garden, the resemblance is uncanny! You can find Rufus and his dad at on the Safefood website here.
3. Kindness
This has got to be on the list of worst nightmares. We often spend hours devising ways to create model citizens, especially during the moments when they turn into monsters.
My daughter went through a phase of snapping at anyone who said hello to her. It was mortifying to see aunties and friends’ faces fall when she told them to ‘go away’. It only stopped when I explained about hurt feelings. We made a pact to try our best not to hurt others.
I find when I am included, it becomes easier for her, a team effort. I give my toddler a certain look (mummies know this look) when I want her to empathise. When her granny is sweeping the floor, I suggest we all help. Turns out I must be a model citizen, for her to be!
4. Healthy eating
Anyone who has a sweetheart with a sweet tooth knows the struggle. These days, my daughter suggests (demands) a treat after dinner. She will often dress it up, telling us she has an ‘amazing idea’ - her words not mine- ‘why don’t we all have a treat?’
I can't tell her that Mummy also looks for a treat after dinner. Every mum out there has a stash for the rough days. However, it's imperative that she never sees mine. Treats are for occasions, and that goes for everyone in the house! I usually end up encouraging her to have a piece of fruit and the truth is that I should be doing the same!
5. Responsibility
My toddler has just learned the concept of blame. When I drop groceries she asks ‘who’s fault was that?’. It is hard to admit blame as a parent. Our children see us as a moral compass, someone who can do no wrong.
But I find that my own stubbornness is an issue because she is constantly absolving herself of any blame! I turn my back for two seconds and the floor is covered in porridge oats. ‘Who’s to blame, Mummy?’ she asks, grinning cheekily ‘not me!’
For obvious reasons, this will not work in the real world. So now when she demands a culprit for my latest moment of clumsiness, frustration or exhaustion, I fess up. She now knows that it’s okay to make mistakes, something that will make her a better person in the long run!
Though it can be tough, we can all win at parenting if we practise what we preach!
