Most days I laugh uncontrollably, almost collapse with exhaustion, tear up, suppress an urge to scream and wander about in a haze.
This is motherhood. And despite my intense research, I had no idea what was coming when I first got pregnant.
It has mostly been a blur, but this experience has made me stronger, kinder, more considerate and generally, a nicer person.
If I had to go back in time I would tell myself not to worry, that this would be the making of me and the difficult times make the wonderful times seem so much better. I would say trust your instincts, have confidence in your abilities and that you are stronger than you know.
My children are so cute and of course, I love them like crazy. But I have developed a NEW kind of love, a love that has suddenly made me immune to the smell of poop, and which allows me to have conversations with three separate people about three separate topics simultaneously, and at the top of my lungs while mashing carrots.
Here's some advice I wish I had known before I had children:
1. You will spend an extraordinary portion of my life carrying home empty scooters and helmets. Up hills. Suck it up.
2. Always have excess tissues to avoid the dreaded bare-fingered pinch-wipe of snotty noses.
3. Count your second last delicious mouthful of food as your last as the children will always want the actual last forkful as your identical plate of food tastes much nicer.
4. Prepare for the cold wait (and in-between wait) outside the school gates. It is a FACT that outside the school gates is 3 degrees colder than anywhere else around.
5. Your idea of curling up in the nursery feeding your baby is usually replaced with being wedged in the back seat of the car with your bra around your neck as you get caught between feeds. You will inevitably need to pee and your phone will die #mummylife
6. New talents will include not puking while cleaning up theirs and saying 'everything is fine' as don't want to frighten them (even though they just scared the cr*p out of you with their version of the Exorcist puke scene.) Good times.
7. You will learn how to keep a straight face when they say they are looking forward to the Halloween bum-frier (bonfire) or tell you that Disney land only costs €25.
8. You will have so much fun going to elaborate lengths with your partner sneaking around in the middle of the night bending elf on the shelf into inappropriate poses and writing secret messages for outside their fairy doors. Even more fun after a few glasses of wine.
9. It's ok to suck the dummy when it hits the ground (just make sure no one is watching)
10. Nothing will prepare you for the love you are going to feel. It is so fierce it makes me teary. Yes, I am out of my mind most of the time but the highs are the highest and because of this my children have made me a better version of myself.
What advice would you have for your pre-baby self?
