Having a new baby should be a time for a family coming together. These days, however, reading through online articles, a lot of the time it seems to be the beginning of gender wars within a household. 

 

Being a mam is tough. It won't be long until my maternity leave finishes and I find out how tough being a working mam is. Pregnancy, labour and staying at home with the baby all have their unique challenges. Some you may never truly understand unless you go through it yourself. However, it's important to remember, being a dad is tough too. 

 

I certainly wouldn't trade my position for having to go back to work so soon after the arrival of our baby, for missing out on all the daily discoveries my son makes or for rushing home each evening to get the most out of the few hours after work before bedtime. 

 

When a mother is criticised it's called 'mam shaming' and a league of strangers jump to defend her for 'doing her best'. When a father is criticised it's considered 'funny and relatable' because it's somehow OK to say his best isn't good enough.

 

When so many mothers struggle to have their voices heard and to have their hard work recognised, why would it be OK to silence and make fun of the efforts of fathers? 

 

Babies, toddlers, children, teenagers... they can all be hard work. It's not about motherhood versus fatherhood, it's about parenthood and being in this together.  So to all the parents to be out there, don't let what you read worry you. Every day I feel grateful for the team I am a part of, and you will too. 

I am a first time mother who has found great comfort and relief in the writings of others. I hope I can do the same for someone else out there.

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