Two years ago, the Marriage Equality Referendum was passed by an overwhelming majority. Ireland celebrated its entry into the 21st century, one step further from a sordid past that saw homosexuality criminalised, homophobic attacks go unpunished and the regular condemnation of gays by the Catholic Church.
This summer, Ireland is facing the prospect of electing its first gay, half-Indian Taoiseach as Leo Varadkar leads in the race to take over Enda Kenny's role as leader of Fine Gael.
But the LGBT community has been described as having a 'hierarchy of risk', meaning not every young person under the LGBT umbrella is equal when it comes to being represented.
Danika Sharek is a social researcher and a Trinity College PhD candidate from Boston. This 'hierarchy' alarmed her. Sharek, who is originally from the states, is a social researcher looking at gender and sexuality issues, mental health and family education. She has launched GenderEd.ie, a website that she hopes will be the future go-to resource for trans children and teens and their families.
"I read the 2016 LGBT Ireland study and was concerned about the increased risk that trans young people have compared to other LGBT people."
The report found that even with the Marriage Referendum being passed two years ago, and the Gender Recognition Act that July, there is inequality within the LGBT community. It found even though homophobia is still present, more progress has been made on reducing homophobia in Ireland than biphobia (bisexuality) and transphobia
Gender.ie aims to be a comprehensive resource where parents can educate themselves on the gender identity, mental health and transition process for trans children.
The project was born out of interviews with dozens of families who have trans children and collaboration with several LGBT groups in Ireland. Danika spoke to MummyPages about how she developed the website. Danika spoke to over 240 families, using surveys and following up with an interview. "In the majority of the families we spoke to, their children had a positive transition."
However, as you can imagine, the 'coming out' experience can be difficult for the child and the parents. Danika says that although every coming out experience is unique, parents can often 'experience a sense of grief, and mourning' at their child's transition.
"Studies say that families of trans people can experience feelings similar to grief and loss, similar to bereavement. These feelings include denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and finally acceptance. Others may feel shame, embarrassment or guilt."
Their stories are anonymously featured on GenderEd.ie. One father said, "When my child first presented, I experienced many different emotions. I was upset and angry that I was losing my hopes and dreams of having a son. I hoped that it was just a phase and maybe he was confused. I was also afraid of the unknown and worried what sort of a future my child would have, how friends and family would treat us in the future."
The website's education function comes in video form. Several topics are covered, from the basics of gender identity and expression (girls being expected to like feminine colours and toys, boys typically choosing to play sports, etc). It also features interviews with trans young people who make the important distinction between sex and gender. Sex refers to biological differences; chromosomes, hormonal profiles, internal and external sex organs. Gender describes the characteristics that a society or culture delineates as masculine or feminine.
One mother of an eight-year-old said, "My daughter was what we now know to be called 'gender non-conforming' since age three. We got positive supportive advice from a local psychologist and always offered gender options re: clothes styles and colours, toys, party themes. As she got older she became more and more frustrated and upset at being called a 'tomboy’, ‘cos that's a type of girl, not a type of boy'.
"More and more often she'd have a meltdown/tantrum for what seemed like a minor issue and cry and say she was a 'freak, a weirdo, there's no one else in the world like me'. One [evening] she told me she had the answer, and she knew what she needed me to do…She asked me to [contact people] to tell them 'she' was now 'he'… I, of course, should have been a step ahead of him, but I was not. I said, ‘Absolutely, why not? Let's go for it'…As a trans-parent, I believe I more often follow and support, than lead. I'm learning from him. I love him. I'll go wherever that takes me."
One father of an adult trans man said, "At the time of childhood, I just thought my child was a little eccentric. I didn't think this was a problem."
It also touches on the problems a child might encounter in school, such as feeling confident enough to express the gender they identify with; the legal system trans people have to navigate and their future well-being. The Gender Recognition Act was passed in 2015. It allows all individuals over the age of 18 to self-declare their own gender identity. Young people aged 16-17 can also be legally recognised, though the process is harder.
Danika says, "Trans young people will go on to have a variety of life experiences, careers and relationships. What we do know is that by supporting your trans family member, you can to their sense of wellbeing and hopefully help encourage them to reach their goals."
Danika's project relied on collaboration with LGBT youth groups including the Transgender Equality Network Ireland (TENI); BeLonG To Youth Services; TransParenCI, and the TransFormers and IndividualiTy young transgender people’s group.
She admits that not every child will have a positive transition or be accepted by their family. "I would urge any child who experiences rejection to seek support from youth groups such as TENI and BeLonG To."
A full list of support groups for families and young people by county can be found here on the GenderEd website.
