Before your world gets turned upside down with the arrival of your baby brother or sister, I want to thank you little one.
You have changed me more than you can know and best of all, you made me a Mummy. It’s a title I knew I’d be proud and happy to have, but one that I never knew could or would make be this proud and happy because I’m your Mummy.
It’s a title that some days is a hard one to have and wears thin because you call my name so much, but you do it because I am your teacher, your healer, your safe place, your home.
I try to remember every day that we are learning together, and while it is often hard to be a Mummy, I am constantly learning to be better because of you. Your strong will and defiance teach me patience.
Your non-stop chatter and activity teach me to dig deep when I’m exhausted and find the energy and strength to play, teach and nurture. Your relentless questions make me stop and think, and often reflect and consider my own knowledge.
And your negotiating encourages me to not always follow the rules, to be flexible, to try to think of the fun in the moment and not the possible consequences later.
I beam with pride as I get glimpses into your kindness and into the empathy you have for others when they’re sad and it makes my heart burst. Your beautiful wide eyes are so expressive when telling me about your day, and I have to hold in a laugh when you’re so excited to tell me something, you can’t quite find your words! Your curiosity over anything or anyone new draws a smile and your innocence makes me want to freeze time and preserve you just as you are.
My favourite moments are wrapped in the cuddles and kisses you give freely and without thought, or when you tell me you love me without prompting or tell me that I’m your best friend or simply that you’re happy. These fleeting comments you make become etched in my memory and in my heart because they are said so matter of fact and without agenda, simply because you feel it and want to say it.
Please know that I desperately try not to roll my eyes or sigh when you ask so many questions as I know you are learning and are desperate to learn faster than you are. I get angry with myself and racked with guilt when I use a harsh tone because my patience hasn’t quite survived the day and you’re not going as quickly as I ‘need’ you to. I am still learning how to juggle all that comes with parenting and for that I’m sorry. I will try to slow down and enjoy those small seemingly insignificant moments that I know will disappear all too quickly as your grow.
As 3 becomes 4, I need you to know that we love you more than you will ever know, you are our world. So when it expands and you have to share that world, you may feel a little lost at first, but I promise to be your constant. I will be your safe place. I will be your home.
xx
