How many of you actually feel like you are a good mum? Does anyone tell you that you are a good mum?
Honestly, I think my partner has told me maybe five times in total that I'm a good mum, and that's normally because I've got upset over the kids or something that's happened. I don't think he has ever said it off his own back. (sorry if I'm wrong, Dan!)
Just tonight, we've had a bit of a parenting disagreement (as we all do at some point in this rollercoaster ride that they call kids). We can't always agree, and I think that has to do with me and him being bought up so differently.
Something he said to me was "you moan to me when you've had a bad day, that's why I step in" - it's true, I do moan to him, because he is my partner. But that doesn't mean that I always agree with what is said, same as he doesn't always agree with what I say.
I do have days I feel like a complete failure, I feel like I let my kids down, I feel like I'm sometimes too hard on them for the wrong things, then too soft when maybe I needed to be a bit harder? I don't ever see myself as a "good mum".
I shared something on my Instagram: justamummy__x (just in case you want to follow my everyday life with my two boys) which has made me want to write this. We choose to put our children before any needs that we may need, I sometimes have days where I don't eat because I'm seeing to them, I want to make them happy over myself and make sure I can be the best I can be, some days are harder than ever.
I know I make mistakes, I'm human. I've been a mum for nearly 5 years, but I still don't know if I am doing it right. I am still learning. No one prepares you for this, you get all the antenatal classes and what to expect while you are pregnant, how to breastfeed etc, etc.
No one tells you this part, the days where you don't know how much more you can give, how much longer you can go on the broken sleep and the days where you don't know if you've done enough - but we all need to be reminded sometimes, that we can carry on, we can get through these hard days. Every mum feels like they have failed (at least once a week) but we are all still learning. Please remember that.
Us mums need to be easy on ourselves, we are all doing a fantastic job, to our children we are perfect. They always look up to their mamas.
So, I wrote this little message to myself:
"I just like to sometimes remind myself that I’m doing ok and I’m not a total failure as a mum. Because let’s be honest, it only takes one thing to make you think you’ve mucked it up, but I’m a good mum - how do I know? My kids show me "
OH, and one more thing, YOU ARE A GOOD MUM!
Share this with any of the other mamas who need to know they are doing a great job.