Talking to your teen can be difficult, especially with how unpredictable their moods can be. Something as simple as “what would you like for dinner?” can cause the angriest of responses. Even though you probably do know what’s best in the long run, your teen will always act and think otherwise.
How was your day?
A reasonable question, especially if you haven’t seen your teen all day. But even if they’ve had a great day, often the response from your adolescent can be met with, “fine”. They might not even respond at all, so it’s usually best to give them a few hours to cool down.
What were you thinking?
Not a wise question, especially if you teen had decided to open up to you in the first place. It’s understandable, if you believed you would’ve handled their situation differently. But you are not your teen, so its best not to question why the handled a scenario a certain way. Instead ask what happened as a result and what they plan to do next. If they are willing to listen to your advice, it’s best to approach it in the way such as “maybe you could do this..” or “I was in a similar scenario and this is what I did and what happened..”
I forbid you to do that
Discipline is important but if you tell teen not to do something, more often or not, they will just want to do it more. Don’t go along the route of reverse psychology either, because your teen knows every trick in the book. Sometimes it’s best to explain why you don’t want them doing something in the first place. But as much as you like to have a peaceful atmosphere when it comes to discipline, sometimes teenage temper tantrums are unavoidable.
It won’t matter this time next year
You are probably right and deep down there somewhere your teen knows it. But to your teen those exam worries, friendship fights or relationship troubles are everything to them right now. So saying that it doesn’t matter or it’s really not that big of deal (even though you are probably right), will not only a trigger a terrible response, but will also cut them off from approaching you again.
