Is it teething time for your little one?
Are you up for having sex, every day for a month to 'improve your intimacy and to reconnect'.......?
 
Better question, do you have the time, energy and/or inclination?  
 
A few years ago a US pastor, Paul Wirth set a challenge to his congregation to have sex for 30 days in row to see what effect it had on married life. Apparently, the challenge, one which he has tried himself with wife Susie, is about reconnecting with your other half, creating a space for just the two of you, fulfilling the need in everyone for intimacy and meeting each others needs.  He has written a book “30 Day Sex Challenge: A Journey to Intimacy” and in it, he states that 20 million married Americans have sex fewer than 10 times a year. That's less than once a month!  So it would seem he’s out to fix this. And it would seem that there are plenty of people out there with the time and inclination to take this challenge on, in fact not just take it, but to also report on their findings.
 
There are lots of positive reviews about the challenge, raving about how great it was, that it lead to a realisation of  the needs of each other, and that it helped to refocus the marriage. Some who said it made a dull sex life that bit more exciting as they were inclined to bring in themed evenings or that they were doing it in every room in the house, or the excitement of trying to fit it in around 'nap time'. And some people were happy to know that during the 30 days there was no longer a worry about who would make the first move, because it was always guaranteed to happen.  There were also a few less savoury (in my opinion) remarks on how to cope with Mother Nature's intervention during the month, and how 'period sex' was great. Really? I mean, really?  I'm sorry but thought of 'giving pleasure' during the time of the month, when I'm being ripped in half with cramps and pains, would just tip me over.
 
And then there were the more honest people, those who said they tried it but gave up, because life got in the way. And for me this was a more realistic approach. Some people admitted that as parents, with normal life challenges, that it just wasn't going to happen. And some went as far as admitting that they (both) needed their "me" time and that no sex mad partner or challenge would change that.
 
Many people had forceful opinions on how critical it is to make time to spice up their love life, but some also said they were happy just plodding along because that's just about all they can manage for the right now.  So, who is to say what a normal sex life is?  Is the Pastor really on to something here or is this just another one hit wonder, that a couple might try once, feel the effects for the duration, but accept that normalcy will return. 
 
But the real question is, what is normal? So many people reviewed this challenge with an opening line of - "we had a perfectly normal sex life' and then followed it with a 'we do it x times a week' but the figures varied hugely.  Life for most people is filled with the kids, the jobs and the constant struggle to cook the meals, pack the lunches, clean the dishes, make the bed, sweep the floor, do the shopping and so on and on.  It got us thinking, are the days of bed early, sex and snuggly chats gone in your house?   And did they ever exist post baby arrival in the same way they were before?
 
 
 

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