Breastfeeding is not for everyone but I’m so glad that the midwives in the delivery room encouraged it after my daughter was born at 36 weeks by emergency c-section. Extremely nervous about breastfeeding, we soon discovered that my milk had not ‘come in’ due to the early birth. The midwives helped the baby to latch and I sat back and listened to their advice. However ,things took a turn for the worst when the baby was latched, exhausted from staying awake all night I attempted to sleep while my husband kept watch. All of a sudden I heard him shout ‘she’s not breathing, she’s turning grey’.
Instantly she was taken from my arms and brought to resuscitation, unknown to me at the time, my daughter had a cyanotic attack. Kept in the NICU ward for days both of us were so worried. After being wheeled down to the NICU ward by the porter, I was told that it would be best if I could express breastmilk for my daughter as she was being fed through a tube. I knew about the Medela Symphony hospital grade breast pump and its initiate mode which helps to initiate milk supply but I was unable to use the pump due to the hospital's rule of hand expression only for 48-72 hours. I was at a loss, my baby needed breastmilk but I couldn’t give it to her. They mentioned donor milk and I felt like a failure because I couldn’t give her what she needed.
After three days my daughter was signed out of NICU as she had not had another attack, we were ecstatic but my milk had not been established yet and after such a scary start I was unsure whether breastfeeding was for us or not. The midwives continued to try teach me to hand express, I continuously asked to use a pump but it fell on deaf ears due to hospital policy. Suddenly I woke up from a much needed nap and my breasts were covered in hard lumps which were extremely visible to the naked eye and of course hurt like hell. The midwife handed me a syringe and asked me to try get whatever colostrum I could...which ended up being none.
In the shower I cried with pain but the good news was that on this day I was able to return home with our beautiful daughter. After arriving home I instantly asked my mother to go to Medicare Health and Living in Kilmacanogue and rent a Medela Symphony hospital grade breast pump. After the pump arrived I instantly began to use it, the lumps were shrinking after its first use so I thought this was the perfect time to try breastfeed again. Unfortunately it wasn’t to be.
Initially I thought the baby was unable to latch due to engorgement, however this was not the case. Despite being told that my daughter did not have tongue tie, she was unable to feed at the breast. Terrified that my milk supply would be non-existent I continued to pump breastmilk and feed it to my baby with a special teat designed by Medela for breastfeeding. We visited the GP and he confirmed ‘no tongue-tie’. At a loss we ended up phoning a private lactation consultant who spent two hours with me and my baby focusing on positioning and latch. After an examination of my daughters mouth, she told me that there was the slightest posterior tongue-tie and if breastfeeding was something that I wanted to do that she would refer me to a specialist.
We arrived in the specialists office that week and the tongue-tie procedure was carried out. Instantly the baby latched, and latched perfectly. The Medela Symphony pump was still a huge part of our lives. When the baby slept I pumped but breastfeeding hurt initially. I used the Medela Hydrogel pads which gave me instant relief and were a lifesaver when it came to feeding at the breast. Eventually the pain subsided and our breastfeeding journey was in full throttle.
I quickly realised that not everyone agreed with breastfeeding. Sitting in family’s houses and even in my own house, I had to leave the room when people other than my sister and husband were present. Those who I thought would support me in the journey all of a sudden felt ‘uncomfortable’ with me breastfeeding in their presence. I in no way was uncovered, I constantly wore Boob design clothing which offered extremely discreet breastfeeding.
Fast forward six months and we had established a bond like no other but all of a sudden people began to ask when I was going to stop breastfeeding. Taken aback, I questioned if I was being ‘weird’ by breastfeeding after six months especially when family members mentioned that it was probably about time I stopped. I didn’t want to stop but my husband suggested pumping from here on in. This lasted about two days in total, my daughter missed feedings at the breast and because I was with her 24/7 it meant she didn’t need to be bottle fed. As she grew so did the questions about when I was going to stop breastfeeding.
Months passed and all of a sudden she was 12 months old. At this point I was told that I was moving into ‘extended breastfeeding’. I hate that term. There is no such thing as extended bottle feeding with formula onto cows milk so why was I feeling awkward about giving my baby the best start in life for an ‘extended’ period of time.
The comments subsided the longer I breastfed, most accepted that this was the way our daughter was being fed, however, to ensure people didn’t feel ‘uncomfortable’, I still left the room to feed. We’re now breastfeeding for over 16 months and I’ve read a huge number of articles stating that baby led weaning happens when a baby is emotionally ready to latch off. As the world health organisation recommend breastfeeding up to 24 months and onwards, I for one will not be rushing my daughter to latch off when she’s not ready for the sake of making others feel comfortable.
There are wonderful offers available to mums from Medicare right now:
Medela range (including all breastpumps) 15% off. Excludes pump replacement parts. (BFW2019)
UMamma Stress Buster – 90mins massage (Pregnancy / Postnatal Full Body & Oasis Facial) for €89
Antenatal Class with Assistant Director of Midwifery National Maternity Hospital on November 9– 15% off (large segment on breastfeeding)
