Britney Spears stood up in an LA courtroom on Wednesday, June 23, where she spoke to judge Brenda Penny about the harsh reality of her conservatorship, admitting that she wanted to put an end to it once and for all.
Referencing her recent social media posts where she profusely reassured her followers that she was happy, Britney said, “I've lied and told the whole world I'm OK and I'm happy. It's a lie. I've been in denial. I've been in shock. I am traumatized. Fake it 'til you make it, but now I'm telling you the truth, OK? I'm not happy. I can't sleep. I'm depressed. I cry every day.”
For those who need a recap, 39-year-old Britney Spears has been under her father’s conservatorship since 2008, when she experienced severe mental health problems resulting in her hospitalisation. This gave her father, Jamie Spears, control over her financial and personal affairs including her career, living situation and physical care.
The court had initially granted Britney’s father conservatorship on a temporary basis, however, it was then made permanent a few months later, leaving Britney still under her father’s control 13 years later.
The pop princess admits that she wasn’t aware that she could petition to end her conservatorship at any time. “I honestly didn't know that. I've done more than enough. I don't owe these people anything,” Spears said.
“I've roofed and clothed and fed people on the road. It's demoralising what I've been through. I've never said it openly - I never thought anyone would believe me. I'm not lying. I just want my life back. It's been 13 years and it's been enough. I want to be able to be heard. I've kept this in for so long - it's not good for my heart. I've been so angry and I cry every day. For my sanity ... I need to get it off my heart. The anger, all of it. The main reason why I'm here today is I want to end the conservatorship without being evaluated.”
“I deserve privacy. I don't feel like I can live a full life,” Britney continued, adding, “They're making me feel like I live in a rehab program. I do need a little therapy,” Britney confessed, laughing. “I want to progressively move forward ... I want to get married and have a baby.”
“This conservatorship is doing me way more harm than good. I deserve to have a life! I've worked my whole life. I feel ganged up on and I feel bullied and I feel left out and alone. I'm tired of feeling alone”
Britney then went on to talk about the level of control this conservatorship has over her life, claiming that she’s not allowed to get married or have children.
“I would like to progressively move forward and I want to have the real deal. I want to be able to get married and have a baby. I have an [IUD] inside of myself so I don't get pregnant. They don't want me to have children - any more children,” Spears revealed.
What’s more is that Britney also outlined how the conservatorship affects small decisions regarding her everyday life, saying that her father decided who she dated and what colour to paint her kitchen cabinets.
Britney’s father Jamie along with her mother Lynne both attended separately yesterday, via video links. Jamie had his lawyer read a statement on his behalf, saying he is “sorry to see his daughter in so much pain. [He] loves his daughter and misses her very much.”