I’ll be the first to admit that dating nowadays is hard. Forgetting about the coronavirus pandemic for a second, even before all hell broke loose it was pretty grim.
You have all of these dating apps which are supposed to make life ‘easier’ but somehow suck all of the flirty juices out of your bones instead. Not to mention the sea of men you're immediately presented with, who instantly overwhelm and bore you at the same time.
That’s why the following article from the year 1958 intrigued me so much.
As I was casually scrolling through Twitter the other night I came across a tweet which read, “This. Is. Amazing - advice on how to get a husband circa 1958. Numbers 17, 24, 30 and 40 are simply incredible."
However, when I clicked on the photo attached, it was even more glorious than I had imagined.
What I found was a list so hilariously absurd in today’s circumstances that I couldn’t fully believe what I was reading. The list entailed a variety of things to do and ways to present yourself in order to bag a husband.
While we sadly can’t see the full article detailing all 129 ways to get a husband, the 27 which are visible in the tweet are truly phenomenal.
14. Be nice to everybody — they may have an eligible brother or son.
15. Get a government job overseas.
16. Volunteer for jury duty.
17. Be friendly to ugly men — handsome is as handsome does.
18. Tell your friends that you are interested in getting married. Don’t keep it a secret.
19. Get lost at football games.
20. Don’t take a job in a company run largely by women.
21. Get a job demonstrating fishing tackle in a sporting goods store.
22. On a plane, train or bus don’t sit next to a woman — sit next to a man.
23. Go to all reunions of your high school or college class. There may be widowers there.
24. Don’t be afraid to associate with more attractive girls; they may have some leftovers.
25. Go back to your home town for a visit — the wild kid next door may have become a very eligible bachelor while you were away.
26. Don’t room with a girl who is a sad sack and let her pull you down to her level.
27. Get a part-time job in a convention bureau.
28. Change apartments from time to time.
29. When traveling, stay at small hotels where it is easier to meet strangers.
30. Learn to paint. Set up easel outside engineering school.
How To Let Him Know You’re There
31. Stumble when you walk into a room that he’s in.
32. Forget discretion every once in a while and call him up.
33. Carry a hatbox.
34. Wear a Band-Aid. People always ask what happened.
35. Make a lot of money.
36. Learn several funny stories and learn them well — but make sure you don’t tell them to him more than once.
37. Walk up to him and tell him you need some advice.
38. Dropping the handkerchief still works.
39. Have your father buy some theater tickets that have to be got rid of.
40. Stand in a corner and cry softly. Chances are good that he’ll come over to find out what’s wrong.
41. Don’t let him fish for your name the next time you meet. None of this ‘guess who’ stuff.
After reading this list... and then reading it again and again, I started thinking — would these still work? It may sound crazy but it’s given me some strange urge to give all of these tips a go and see how long it takes for someone to put a ring on it.
I really want to get lost at football games and carry a hotbox. Does the handkerchief trick still work today? Where’s the nearest engineering college?