Great Expectations star Gwyneth Paltrow has opened up about preparing to turn 50 years old and reflects on the life she has lived so far.
Gwyneth shared the moving message on her blog for Goop, alongside a fabulous photo of her wearing a bikini as she jumps in the air looking elated, ahead of her 50th birthday on September 27.
She started the essay thinking back to when her parents turned 50 and how they each felt so different about hitting the milestone. “I am struck by how, for both of my parents, 50 seems like a reckoning. For my mother, it was a culmination of the wondrous, the highs, the loves, the art. For my father, a culmination of sorrows”.
The Iron Man actress went on to talk about time passing by without noticing, before moving on to talk about her body showing how long she has lived on this earth.
“My body, a map of the evidence of all the days, is less timeless. A collection of marks and irregularities that dog-ear the chapters. Scarred from oven burns, a finger smashed in a window long ago, the birth of a child”.
“Silver hair and fine lines… And while I do what I can to strive for good health and longevity, to stave off weakening muscles and receding bone, I have a mantra I insert into those reckless thoughts that try to derail me: I accept, I accept the marks and loosening skin, the wrinkles. I accept my body and let go of the need to be perfect, look perfect, defy gravity, defy logic, defy humanity. I accept my humanity”.
The mum-of-two continued to reflect on her accomplishments and mistakes. Rather than sharing advice she would tell her younger self, Paltrow shared her thoughts for moving forward. “People often ask, “If you could go back to your 21-year-old self and give her some advice…” Well, I would know my boundary and hold on to it more tightly than my life itself. And yet, perhaps the more important question is what will I do going forward”.
“I would like to slow down. I would like to retreat a little bit. I would like to make my circle smaller. I would like to cook dinner more. I would like to see misunderstandings become understandings. I would like to continue to open the deepest part of myself to my husband, even though it scares me”.
“I would like to tell anyone that had a negative experience with me that I am sorry. I would like to fully acknowledge myself. I am imperfect, I can shut down and turn to ice, I have no patience… I am also generous and funny. I am smart and brave”.
Gwyneth closed off by saying that as her children are old enough to remember their mum turning 50, she hopes they will not remember her feeling happy or sad about the milestone birthday, as she remembers of her parents, but instead they see the balance.
“And that I really won’t know what it was like to turn 50 until much later, when I can reflect back from a higher perch, perhaps at one of their 50ths, hearts full and broken simultaneously (as that is life).