Sometimes a local or international tragedy happens that touches all members of the community. Parents will experience a range emotions from shock to fear and anxiety. Children can be affected by their parents response to something like this as well as what they see and hear directly. The following tips can help you deal with how to tell your school-age child with a tragedy:
- Most children of this age will have heard what has happened and will have some reactions. A child aged five to eight will understand the reality of what has happened and may worry that it could happen to them.
- It is still a good idea to protect school age children from the TV. Visual images can have a powerful impact, if children ask questions; give them information without necessary detail.
- You might have to answer the same questions over and over as children try to make sense of what has happened. Give as much information as they want, but avoid unnecessary or frightening detail.
- Give children opportunities to talk about their feelings and their fears. Validate their feelings as real. Let your children know they can talk to you any time they are afraid.
- Keep to routines that provide a sense of safety. Some things you can do in the time when you usually watch TV might be playing games, walking the dog, shopping, gardening, riding a bike – things that give your family a sense of togetherness.
- Try to help them with their fears by talking through the issues according to their age and understanding. For example, you could say, ‘Sad and scary things happen in the world. But they are rare and there are lots of sensible people who are working to stop things like this happening’. Talk about the people who are helping.
- You might need to show that your children are safe in whatever ways are true – for example, that where you live is different, that your home is safe and so on.
Signs of stress
School-age children might show worries through behaviour as well as, or instead of, talking about them. They might show them by not wanting to go to school, by having nightmares or exhibiting behavioural problems. Other symptoms of worry can be physical, such as headaches or tummy aches. If your children are showing worries in this way, it is important to help them to talk about their fears. Bedtime is often a good listening time.
