Malin Andersson has bravely opened up about her struggles with postnatal depression after she gave birth to her daughter Xaya.
The former Love Island star gave birth to Xaya in February 2022 after the tragic death of her daughter Consy back in 2019.
Malin has now decided to speak to Giovanna Fletcher on her podcast Happy Mum, Happy Baby about what she was going through at the time.
The former reality TV star explained she had depression while pregnant with Xaya after the loss of Consy and the death of her mum in 2017. “I was depressed, I didn’t want to leave bed. I got put on antidepressants. My mind was awful- intrusive thoughts, anxiety every day”.
“Even when she was born, it was such a beautiful feeling but I still didn’t feel peace in my heart because then I started to feel guilt for my other baby”.
After Xaya’s birth, Malin’s prenatal and postnatal depression became a ‘blur’ to her and she struggled with co-dependence. “I was just so depressed… it became one big blur”.
“It was me feeling anxious, stressed and crying randomly. Looking at Xaya, thinking ‘oh my god she’s beautiful and she’s mine but oh my god she might die tomorrow’”.
“‘Am I doing this right? Where’s my mum?’, Grieving over my mum. Not wanting to go out, or not wanting anybody to come and meet her, didn’t want to see anyone”.
Malin continued, “Wanting Jared [Xaya’s dad] to be there all the time, becoming very co-dependent”.
“Being too scared to be on my own, because I didn’t think I was capable enough to look after her, even though I was fully”.
Andersson also spoke about her struggles with breastfeeding and how that added to her postnatal depression. “Breastfeeding, and then it became too much for me after a week. I did 8 or 9 days, and then I just decided to stop”.
“There was a feeling of not being good enough because I didn’t breastfeed. There’s just so much involved in it, it was a collection of everything”.