Over one third of mothers have admitted to regretting becoming a mom, according to new research carried out by Mind Mommy Coaching, a qualified and accredited life coach for mothers who has supported over 3,500 women.
A total of 37% of mothers who responded to this revealing survey during the month of September admitted that they have, even just for a single moment, regretted becoming a mom. This is mainly attributed to feelings of not being a good enough mother as well as the unexpected contrast between expectations and reality. Almost 90% admitted that their reality of motherhood felt much harder than what they expected it would be prior to having children.
The research was carried out amongst almost 2,000 mothers across Ireland and the UK and takes a deep dive into the mental health of women during their years of motherhood. Many of the statistics are the unspoken reality of many mothers yet, as a society, they are admissions that don’t often get brought to the forefront of conversation.
Mind Mommy Coaching is a life coaching service dedicated to normalising the challenges of all stages of motherhood and helping moms navigate those challenges to achieve positive mental wellbeing. Set up by mom of three, Laura Guckian, the business aims to ensure mothers have the clarity and tools they need to achieve positive mental health, and stems from Laura’s own personal experience with mental health when she first became a mother.
The survey revealed that a massive 92% of respondents have struggled with their mental health at some point since becoming a mother. Less than half have sought help for these struggles but almost 20% of those who did seek help said they did not receive the support they needed. Forty-five percent of mothers who did not look for support, said they believed they could manage it themselves. Other factors for not seeking help or other resources was not having time (33%) or the money (23%). A quarter (25%) said they were afraid of what others would think while shame prevented almost 20% of people from seeking help or support.
Since becoming a mother, the majority of respondents (81%) admitted they have experienced an increase in anxiety while 73% said they have experienced negative thoughts – such as feeling like they are not a good enough mother – while 70% admitted to having increased feelings of anger or rage.
The balancing act appears to be one of the most turbulent experiences for mothers, with respondents saying that their biggest concern while at their place of work is receiving a call from their childminder or creche to come and collect a sick child. When it comes to the balance at home – it appears most mothers carry the mental load. A total of 90% of moms said their experience is one of an unequal sharing of responsibilities when it comes to carrying the mental load.
More than half of the respondents claimed that they rarely get a break from motherhood, with almost 10% revealing they never do. Over a third claimed that if they do get a break, it is a long hot shower - a very sad statistic. A shower is a basic need yet is not considered a break to many moms.
“Qualified Life Coach and Founder of Mind Mommy Coaching, Laura Guckian, commented:
"Becoming a mom is one of life’s greatest gifts but it is also the greatest shift any human being will ever undertake. My first few years of motherhood were the most challenging years of my life. It was like a series of tsunami waves and I could not get back up for air. As you begin your motherhood journey, you are no longer the same person, your life is no longer just your own and, as your children grow, you will face new challenges and opportunities with their ever-growing needs. I wanted to combine my expertise as a qualified life coach and real-life experience as a mom of three, to support other moms. So that the same tsunami wave does not pull them under during their motherhood journey.”
Laura has supported over 3,500 mothers and admits that she believes there is a Maternal Mental Health Epidemic.
“The results mirror what I’ve been hearing from mothers over the last two years. We need to start having more honest conversations about the reality of being a mother in today’s society so that we can redefine what “normal” really feels like for mothers today."
“I am hoping that by sharing these startling statistics, it will help mothers to feel less alone and recognize that there is no shame in any of these feelings. Our selfcare culture would make us believe that booking a spa day or taking a long bath is all you need to reset and feel ‘better’. However, as a mom of three, I know it takes much more than that. I want to help moms understand the importance of taking care of and investing in themselves so they can achieve positive mental wellbeing. Because we cannot take care of our children unless we too are taken care of."
Follow Mind Mommy Coaching on social at @mindmommycoaching
