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None of us are perfect: It is time to end mum-shaming for good

Close your eyes for a moment and imagine a world where your home was fitted with hidden cameras. Where your entire life was under the judging eyes of the public. Your messy house full of kids, cups of cold coffee and endless laundry is someone’s entertainment. Imagine what the world would think of how you parent. How you discipline. How you do bedtime and bath time and how you carry your newborn.

If we are being honest, the thought is terrifying.

Megan Markle is a new mum. Of all the mums in the world, she has the least privacy in her parenting.

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People literally benefit financially from making comment and spilling the beans on how she parents her child. We see these women in the public eye and automatically dehumanize them. It makes people think it is acceptable to sit on a high horse and declare their disgust for something as small as the way they hold their children.

Behind the veil of the privacy we enjoy, we can judge and comment to our heart's content.

But can anyone, hand on heart, say they have never slipped up in the baby-raising department? Never raised our voices or grabbed our kid under one arm while heading out the door? The answer, of course, is no. This 'no' is comforting to us parents. NONE of us are perfect, so why do we expect a mum we don’t even know to be perfect?

So, I have a proposal. As a young mum, who is CONSTANTLY questioning every parenting decision I make and not-so-kindly gifted with unsolicited advice, I feel for every mama who is shamed. For every parent who is judged or misjudged. For every sigh or eye roll they get from strangers on the bus or family members who think that ‘in my day’ is an appropriate starting point to convince a tired mum that they are doing ‘it’ wrong.

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As one of those mums who has absolutely no idea what they are doing, let’s just stop. Let’s just mind our own business. Let’s focus on ourselves and forget about how others choose to parent. The Duchess of Sussex does not need our less-than-expert parenting advice, and she certainly doesn’t need to be shamed. Let’s support each other and end mum shaming for good.

With her daughter Evie as her muse, Anna writes about mumhood and all its intersections from mental health to movies, social issues to pop culture. Anna lives in Dublin with her daughter, partner, three younger sisters and parents. She is a dreadful cook, a fair guitar player and thinks caffeine should be given as a yearly vaccine to parents - courtesy of the HSE.

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