Mum-of-three Stacey Solomon has opened up about her raw experience with postnatal depression, saying that she still feels “tremendous guilt”.
The Loose Women presenter definitely seems to be a jack of all trades and makes parenting look easy, as she documents everything and anything from upcycling projects to recipe ideas for adorable kid-friendly snacks and effortless outfit inspo.
However, while appearing as a guest on Bryony Gordon's Mad World podcast, Stacey reveals that life wasn’t always a walk in the park, as she talked about her journey through postnatal depression after giving birth to her first son Zachary who is now 13-years-old.
“I have moments now with Zachy, where I think, ‘Aww, I wish I loved you from the very minute’,” Stacey confessed, adding, “Not that I didn’t, I’m sure I did, I just didn’t feel it and I didn’t get it. And it brings me tremendous guilt”.
“But it is what it is, I can’t change it. It was just the way that I felt,” Stacey reiterates, explaining that her first rough experience with motherhood prepared her for when she gave birth to her next two sons, eight-year-old Leighton and nearly two-year-old Rex whom she shares with fiancé Joe Swash.
“Every other time I’ve given birth, I was prepared to feel that way and I knew that it would pass. It was just the most comforting feeling, because when I was in ‘it’ with Zack I genuinely thought ‘I am never going to be happy again, and I am never going to love my child,’ and it just made me feel horrendous.” 31-year-old Stacey admitted.
“When I had Rex a couple of years ago I had exactly the same feelings, like the gut wrenching… just unhappy. I just feel deeply unhappy for no reason — I’m so happy, but I’m just deeply unhappy and uncontrollably sobbing all the time.”
“But at least I knew whilst I was going through that little stage, that I would come out of it. So, yeah again there were positives to come out if that. But I really, really wish I didn’t feel like that, but it’s just who I am I suppose.”
If you are suffering from postnatal depression, please feel free to reach out to Postnatal Depression Ireland, by phoning 021 4922083, or reach out to the Samaritans 24hr listening service on 116 123.