Try not to foster competition: Try to avoid at all times, the classic: “Why can’t you be more like your sister?” Instead, praise them for their unique talents.
Don’t strive for equality: If you try to treat your children as equals, this can lead to more problems. Treat them as individuals instead. Do your best to be fair, that’s all you can do!
Discourage tattling: If your primary school child comes running to you saying her brother isn’t doing his homework, tell your child that you aren’t interested in what her siblings are doing and you would prefer to hear what she has been up to. You should make sure that they understand if there is any danger or someone is hurting someone, that you need to hear about it right away.
Set limits when necessary: In general, try to stay out of your children’s arguments. If it’s only a little spat, leave them to sort it out. However, if you notice that emotions are running high and you see tears on the horizon, it might be a good idea to step in. Listen to all sides of the argument, sum up what happened and get them to propose a solution.
Acknowledge feelings: Sometimes talking about a child’s feelings is all it takes to end a competitive bout. Start a dialogue by saying something like: “I know it hurts your feelings when your brother won’t let you go swimming with him.” Encourage your child to talk about her feelings.
Set personal property boundaries: If your children share a bedroom, then designate shelves that are just for their clothes. Tell them that they must ask permission before they touch anything belonging to a sibling.
It can be tough trying to act as referee between siblings, but the key is to try and be consistent in the way you deal with it.
