Mother's Day apparently exists to honour us selfless, thoughtful and hardworking mums.

It's a time to celebrate motherhood, honour family relations and it's the one day of the year we can put out feet up, guilt-free, knowing that our beloved family will cater to our every whim, right?

Wrong, oh so very wrong.

As any mum out there knows, Mother's Day never has been and never will be the Hallmark scenario those greeting cards lead us to believe.

Here, ladies, is a more accurate depiction of Mothering Sunday.

Expectation: Breakfast in bed.

Reality: Bombsite in kitchen.

Expectation: Hand delivered roses in an enormous bouquet.

Reality: Garage forecourt tulips in battered cellophane.

Expectation: Serene queen at centre of awestruck children.

Reality: Screaming referee at centre of squabbling children.

Expectation: Touching note from partner praising maternal instinct and nurturing nature.

Reality: Hassled text from partner asking if today is Mother’s Day.

Expectation: Thoughtful card from children thanking you for non-stop work.

Reality: Glitter and glue everywhere. EVERYWHERE.

Expectation: Snatched moment to yourself to contemplate motherhood and the joy it has brought you.

Reality: Snatched moment to yourself to breathe and reboot.

Expectation: Your children will take a moment to explain how important you are to them.

Reality: Your children will take a moment to ask if you're cooking a special Mother's Day dinner.

Expectation: Your reason for being will become clear as you look into your children's loving faces.

Reality: Your reason for being will become clear as you look at your children attempting to pummel one another within an inch of their lives.

Expectation: You will enjoy a box of chocolates in the bath.

Reality: Your will watch your children fight over your box of chocolates until you're driven to the bathroom in search of some much needed solitude.

Expectation: You will take a moment to remember the birth of each of your children and marvel at the way those little people have changed your life.

Reality: You will take a moment to remember the birth of each of your children and marvel at the way those little people have changed your life.

Awwww!

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