If you've found yourself googling "when should my child be dry at night" at 2am while stripping yet another set of soaked sheets... you're not alone. Not even close.
Night-time potty training is one of those parenting stages that nobody warns you about properly. You sail through the daytime bit (well, "sail" might be generous) and assume the nights will follow. Then weeks pass. Months. Maybe longer. And you start wondering if you're doing something wrong.
Here's the thing: you're probably not.
The mindset shift that actually helps
Catherine Longland, founder of Hygge Sheets and a bedwetting specialist, says the single most helpful change parents can make is dropping the pressure around staying dry too early.
"The biggest turning point for us was removing the expectation that night time dryness should happen quickly," Catherine explains. "With younger children especially, it is not something children can consciously control yet. Night dryness often depends on physical development, bladder capacity and hormone production, so is different from toilet training during the day which is more skill-based."
In other words? Your child isn't choosing to wet the bed. Their body simply isn't ready yet. And that readiness varies wildly from one child to the next.
"I see so many parents quietly worrying they are doing something wrong if their child is still wet overnight, particularly once daytime potty training is established," Catherine adds. "Yet in reality, this stage can take months or even years to fully develop and that is completely normal."
Years. Let that sink in for a second. If your three-year-old is dry all day but still waking up wet, that's within the normal range. Same goes for four-year-olds. Even older children sometimes.
Why your emotional tone matters more than you think
We've all been there. It's 3am, you're exhausted, there's wee everywhere, and you've got work in five hours. Frustration is natural. But Catherine warns that children pick up on parental stress even when nothing is said out loud.
"The emotional tone parents set really matters. If accidents are treated as a normal part of growing up rather than a setback, children stay relaxed and confident. That confidence carries into other areas like sleepovers and staying overnight with family or in a new environment like on holiday."
She's also clear about language to avoid. Phrases like 'you don't need nappies anymore - you're not a baby' can pile on unnecessary pressure. Worse still? Children sometimes repeat this kind of messaging to other children, creating stigma around something that's genuinely just developmental timing.
"It's also important to remember that progress is rarely linear," Catherine says. "Illness, growth spurts, starting nursery or school, or even big life changes can all affect night-time dryness. What matters most is helping children feel safe and supported while their bodies catch up."
Practical bits that help
Beyond the mindset stuff, Catherine recommends making night-time bed changes as quick and straightforward as possible. The calmer you can keep things when accidents happen, the more reassured your child feels. Nobody wants a big production at stupid o'clock.
She also suggests looking at the bigger picture. While night-time dryness is largely developmental, it sits within your child's overall health. Making sure they drink enough during the day (not just before bed), have regular bowel movements, and develop good daytime toilet habits all create a foundation while night-time dryness catches up.
Wondering if your child might be getting closer to dry nights? Some signals include waking with a consistently dry pull-up or getting up to use the toilet overnight. These cues can be explored gently without making a big deal of it. And if there are setbacks after a run of dry nights? That's normal too. This rarely happens in a straight line.
The bottom line is this: if your under-five is still wet at night, you haven't failed at potty training. Their body is just working on its own timeline. And honestly? Accepting that feels a lot better than fighting it at 3am while everyone's tired and nobody's winning.
For more information on Hygge Sheets, visit www.hygge-sheets.com.
