We’ve been obsessed with watching Grace and Frankie since the new Netflix Original show appeared online. However, being mums, it’s nearly impossible to get the free time needed to enjoy an episode without being interrupted several times by inquisitive kids.
Grace and Frankie stars the hilarious Jane Fonda and Lily Tomlin as two women forced to reinvent their lives after a earth shattering shock. When their law partner husbands Robert and Sol (Martin Sheen and Sam Waterston) announce that they're leaving their wives for each other, the two women need to start fresh and put themselves first for once.
Taking a leaf out of Grace and Frankie’s book, we mums have decided to make ourselves a priority, doing whatever it takes to get a couple of hours to ourselves. Here are 13 lies to tell your children whenever you need a break.
1. Tell your kids you want to play hide and seek. Tell them they have to hide somewhere in the house while you count to 100. Get comfortable on the couch. If they fall asleep in their cosy hiding place you could get yourself a couple of hours peace to watch Netflix.
2. Hand your child a fake letter from Hogwarts and inform them that they are, in fact, a wizard. Tell them they must now sit beside the window and look out for Hagrid who will bring them to their new school. Mum will unfortunately have to sit in the other room by herrself because he won’t show up if muggles are around...gosh darn!
3. Lock yourself in your bedroom and tell the kids you’re wrapping Christmas presents. Yes, it IS June, but you’ve bought them so many presents, you have to start early to have them wrapped in time. You should also tell them you’ll be subtracting one of their presents every time you hear them make a noise.
4. Barricade yourself in the bathroom and tell your kids you have a vomiting bug. Make wretching sounds every now and again in case they’re listening.
5. If the whole family is at home during the weekend, tell your kids that Dad has promised to bring them to the park. When they ask him, tell him solemnly that he definitely said it and invent a elaborate scenario in which he swore to do this.
6. Mess up your child’s bedroom. Tell them they’ll have nowhere to sleep if they don’t clean it up and that they’ll have to sleep outside. This is best saved for a day when it’s cold and raining. If you’re in a good mood, you could instead promise them a bar of chocolate if they clean it up rather than threatening homelessness.
7. Put on your exercise clothes and make an elaborate display of leaving to go to the gym. Drive around the corner and spend the next 90 minutes watching Grace and Frankie on your tablet.
8. Buy blackout blinds for your child’s room. Whenever you need some time alone to relax in front of the TV with a cup of tea, pull the blinds, tell your child its night-time and put them to bed. Extra points if it’s the middle of the afternoon because this gives you alone time AND a few hours to have a romantic meal with the hubby.
9. Point down the hallway and tell your child you’ve spotted a fairy. Once they’ve gotten bored looking for it, tell them you spotted it flying under the cupboard/through a hole in the wall/into the stuffing of an armchair and tell them it will only come out if they sit very quiet and still.
10. Buy a cake. Lock yourself in the kitchen telling, your child you’re baking something special for them. This should give you at least an hour to yourself.
11. Cook up a smelly batch of boiled cabbage. Sit down at the kitchen table with a bowl of your newly-mulched vegetable and tell the kids the first person to say something to you or do something that requires you to get up will have to eat the whole bowl. Squeeze in a couple of episodes of Grace and Frankie while the children tip-toe around.
12. Tell your child they’ve been chosen as Tribute but because you love them, you’re going to protect them from the Hunger Games. Tell them to hide in the wardrobe so the Games Master won’t find them when he comes to the house. When you’ve had enough alone time, retrieve them from their hiding place and tell them they’re safe now.
13. If all else fails, give your child €20 to be quiet for an hour.
Don't forget to check out Grace and Frankie on Netflix!
