One mum has courageously explained why we need to stop asking couples when they are having kids, reminding us that quizzing people about their family plans can be insensitive.
Adele Barbaro has urged people not to ask their friends about their plans to start a family. She wrote, “They would tell me that I'm not going to be young forever or that my maternal clock was ticking. And believe me, I knew it.”
The brave mum explained that conceiving isn’t as straightforward for some people. She wrote, “Trying to conceive isn't easy unless you are a highly fertile 17-year-old, that could fall pregnant just by talking about it."
She admitted that she was one of the people that faced reproductive challenges, “IVF is the most time-consuming, invasive, expensive and emotionally painful roller-coaster I have been on.”
The mum admitted that the experience left her feeling broken, consuming her every thought.
Adele said that when you are struggling to get pregnant, being surrounded by pregnant women can get under your skin, “I even started to decline going to certain get-togethers; and attending baby birthdays were just painful. I became quite bitter, desperate and depressed.”
Her struggle to conceive had an intense emotional impact on Adele, but one morning everything changed for her when she did a pregnancy test.
She wrote, “[I was] expecting the usual mind-numbing result. I crawled back into bed with my husband. He rolled over and said, 'You're pregnant, aren't you?' I didn't have to say a thing. My face said it all.”
Adele understands that they were one of the lucky couples. Many people struggle with conceiving for years and years and, sadly, some people may never fall pregnant.
Adele explained that we need to be more sensitive when asking intrusive questions about couples' family plans, “What about the couple that had a child but can't afford to have another? Or those that have lost little ones?”
Everyone is going through their own individual experience. We need to be more careful when quizzing people about their family life.
We need to remember that everyone is dealing with their own personal issues behind closed doors. “Next time you go to say that 'throw away' comment to the newlyweds or the couple that have been together for ten years, be sensitive," expressed Adele.