Nicki Minaj has been opening up about her personal life.
The Super Bass singer tied the knot to her husband Kenneth Petty in October 2019 and they went on to welcome their son into the world in September 2020. Nicki is yet to reveal her baby boy’s name, but refers to him as Papa Bear.
Now, Nicki has decided to share an insight into her relationship and has delved into her experience with motherhood, admitting that she’s experienced mum guilt.
While chatting with Vogue, the 40-year-old detailed how she thought that when she had a family, she wouldn't want to continue making music, but in fact, she does, and has a new album coming out shortly.
“I think that deep down inside, I believed that once I had a family, I would just lose the desire to make music. I would always tell people, ‘Watch, when I have a child I’m going to cook every meal for him and bake cookies every day’”.
“Maybe subconsciously I hoped my focus would just be on being a mother, and I looked forward to that idea. It felt like a relief. But what happens is that you find out you have to work”.
Nicki continued to speak about mum guilt. “Well, if I’m going to have mom guilt regardless, I might as well continue doing the only thing I know how to freaking do, which is make music”.
The Anaconda singer also explained that she suffered with anxiety after she gave birth to her son, but learned that she can’t control every aspect of her life.
“You want to have control over everything, but that’s the easiest way to be unhappy. So now, if I find myself trying to control it all, I try to remember what’s really important”.
“I look in my son’s face, and my whole soul lights up. He has no clue how nerve-racking it’s been for me to be a mother and an artist.”
After welcoming Papa Bear into the world, Minaj revealed that her marriage started to get rocky.
“I’m not going to lie, things got testy between us. Because of our history, I think we knew we’d get past it. But there’s no such thing as confidence in parenthood”.
“I kind of wish that someone had told me - although I’m sure I wouldn’t have been able to understand it - that there’s a level of anxiety, and you think it’s going to go away, but in fact it gets scarier. So often you think: I don’t know how to do this!”.
She also explained that there is still an ‘ease’ to her and Kenneth’s relationship. “Because I’ve known my husband for so long, there’s an ease we have with each other. We make each other laugh. We’re silly. And we’re always reminiscing about some old story”.
