Christmas is a time of family and friends, and can be extremely tough if you are separated from your children's other parent. While younger children won't really understand what is going on and will generally be ok with what you and your ex have agreed to do that day, it is a different story when you are dealing with teenagers.
Now that they are old enough to know what is going on and to be aware of the implications of spending the day with one parent and not the other, it can be tricky to deal with.
To ensure you all have an enjoyable day, have a read of the following five tips:
1. Involve them in the process
Unlike with small children, your teenager will want to have a say in where they spend Christmas. Never make plans without consulting them, and always ask them for their opinion – you never know, they might come up with a solution that suits everyone.
2. Let them know that you will be ok
If they are spending the day with their other parent and not you, it is important that you let them know you will be ok. Your teen will be concerned about your welfare, and will worry about your plans for the day. Even if you are upset, don’t let it show. Of course it is ok to tell them you will miss them, but make sure they know you will be with others.
3. Skip the rows
Make an extra special effort not to row with your ex over the holidays – it is a time for family and fun, so do try to be civil. Whatever you do, don’t let your teen be caught in the crossfire between you and your former partner.
4. Make new traditions
This Christmas won’t be the same as it has always been, and there is no point trying to sugar coat it. Your son or daughter is old enough now to understand the implications that divorce will have on the way they usually spend the festive season. Instead of letting it get to them though, start new traditions and celebrate differently, and, above all else, try to find as many positives about the day as you can.
5. Talk to your ex about presents
Christmas time is not about point-scoring and should never be an excuse for one parent to belittle another. Make sure you are both on the same wavelength when it comes to gifts. Your teen may try to play you both, but if you show a united front they’ll actually feel more secure.
