You are the most important sexual educator for your teenager, but it can be a bit of a tricky situation for quite a lot of mums. Some of us find it tricky to talk about sex with our teens - it can feel awkward and unusual, and yes, embarrassing.
However, it is one of the most important conversations you are going to have with your son or daughter, and one that you should approach with care and thought.
Here's how to get it done.
1. It is not going to be something you do spontaneously - you WILL need to think about it first
Topics to consider talking about include: pregnancy, birth control, STDs, reasons to abstain, the effects of drugs and alcohol on decisions. However, you should not be rigid in what you speak about nor how you say it – allowing the conversation to flow will make it less awkward.
2. You don’t need to be an expert to be able to teach your teen about safe sex
Speak from experience - both positive and negative - and be honest with your teen. If you had a scare or a bad experience tell them. The more open you are the more they will listen and confide in you - knowing that they aren't the only ones to feel a certain way will help them to be more open and reflective.
3. Make sure they know the difference between fact and fiction
While the internet is a great way to get information, your teen will likely be bombarded with a load of information that is not correct or factually based. Before you sit down with them, read up on everything you need to know so that you will be armed with the right information.
4. Respect their decisions
Finally, if they admit during the conversation that they have already experimented or have had sex, don't pass comment. Accept it and move on; they will struggle to be open with you in the future if you judge, tut or criticise. Don't worry about being too late to have The Talk, your teen will still need to be reminded of the dangers of unprotected sex, and will still need a confidant to talk to these things about - exactly the service you are providing by having this chat with them.
