Many parents today, rely on the help and support of grandparents with child minding, so it seems unfair that this couple would be denied adoption rites based on age - are they really too old to adopt?
A 53 year old man and his 59 year old wife have been told by a council in Berkshire (UK) that they are too old to adopt a little 13 month old girl that they have been taking care of for almost a year now. They were told that they would ‘be an embarrassment to her at school because (they) will be so old’ but the 59 year old remarked how 'half the kids in school are collected by their grandparents and that if they were in fact her grandparents they would be able to adopt her despite their age'. The council said that they were too old and that with the 59 year old's poor health (asthma) it would not take long for the child to have to become a carer for the couple.
The couple, who have not been named for legal reasons, were asked to care for the child when her 17 year old birth mother (who was a friend of the couple's youngest daughter) asked them to look after the then 3 month old ‘for a while’. The couple took on full responsibility for the child and spent a great deal of money in doing so. They did not have any contact from the birth mother for approximately 9 months since she handed the child over, however, they have had, and encouraged, involvement from the father during this time. (Prior to allowing his involvement they paid for a DNA test to be carried out to confirm paternity). During a hearing, both birth parents requested that the court allow the child to stay with the couple, rather than be adopted out.
When asked, the council stated that while they couldn’t comment on individual cases, that their 'priority in any fostering or adoption case is to try and ensure the best long term future for children' and 'that is also the case in this instance'.
The couple, who have raised 5 children say that ‘The council has used us when it was useful to them but now we are being dumped’ and that 'We both love [the little girl] and would be heartbroken to lose her. They (the council) say they are putting her interests first, but she is so happy here with us'.
With the case now adjourned, and not set for a full hearing until March, at which time, the couple will have been looking after the little girl for a year.
