Dealing with any personal or adult subject with your teen can be tough, especially when it comes to romantic relationships. Sometimes parents feel more nervous about approaching romantic issues with their LGB teen. They may feel that what they’ve experienced themselves is different or that they are in the dark when it comes to LGB issues.
However, love, romance and sex are universal experiences and a lot of your own knowledge and experiences are relevant to your teen. These are some common concerns amongst parents of LGB teens when it comes to dating.
I’m unsure of how to talk to my LGB teen about dating
It’s best to begin this conversation before your teen starts dating or while they are in the early stages of dating. At this point, you can put the topic of healthy/unhealthy relationships into a more generic context. For example, you can use a TV show or even a celebrity story about an abusive relationship as a conversation starter, asking them for their own views. In this way, you can learn about what your teens expect from a dating partner and share your thoughts as well.
I’m unsure of how to treat my teen’s boyfriend/ girlfriend
This should be no different to how you’d treat an opposite-sex partner. Make them feel welcome and make an effort to get to know them. Invite them to spend time with the family and if possible get to know their own family too. Invite conversation with your teen about their boyfriend/girlfriend and equally, ask your teen questions about how they feel about their partner, without pushing the issue or prying.
My teen’s partner isn’t ‘out’ to their parents
It’s not your place to ‘out’ anyone if they’re not ready themselves. The best thing you can do is be there for your teen and their partner. Perhaps explore the reasons why they’re hesitant to come out to their parents, offering advice and support in a sensitive and patient way if they need it.
I feel uncomfortable with my teen’s PDAs with their boyfriend/girlfriend
Many parents feel uncomfortable when their teen express their sexuality in any way. However, if you’re a parent of a LGB teen, you should ask yourself if it’s the act itself that makes you uncomfortable or because it’s not the gender or sexuality ‘norm’. It may be useful to ask yourself, ‘Would this bother me in an opposite-sex partner?’ If the answer is no, try your best to keep an open mind and move past it. This will take some adjustment but will get easier.
