She is loved pretty much universally, so it’s a little jarring to discover that author Giovanna Fletcher was bullied as a child. Then again, this is an experience that SO many of us go through – and, more often than not – there is no explanation for it.
Giovanna made the revelation in an open letter addressed to her sons, three-year-old Buzz and 19-month-old Buddy.
In the letter, titled ‘You Will Not Always Be Liked’, Giovanna shared important life lessons about forging strong friendships and handling bullying.
“I’ve decided to write to you about the first lesson I wish I’d learned. I guess that makes this the letter that I wish I could have written to my younger self, too,” she began.
Giovanna, who is married to McFly singer Tom, admitted that she found herself ‘on the outside looking in’ when she started school, as she witnessed the children around her forming strong friendships.
While Giovanna had lots of friends, she ‘never felt properly accepted’. “Rather,” she wrote, “That I was floating around without one particular best mate.”
Three years later, Giovanna’s bullying ordeal began, when ‘two best mates let her join their duo, making her part of a new trio’.
“Threes can work, but they just didn’t for us,” Giovanna revealed.
“Perhaps they never wanted it to work in the first place and they were just messing with me, but I have to believe that eight-year-olds aren’t so naturally mean.
“The bullying was both mental and physical, and it only stopped because we moved house.”
Giovanna revealed that although the experience took place when she was very young, it had ‘a huge effect’ on her as an adult when it came to making friends and ‘longing to be accepted’.
“If it became clear someone didn’t like me, then I would go out of my way to win that person over,” she explained.
“As a result, I have lost a lot of time focusing on people I really shouldn’t have bothered with.
“It’s only since you boys arrived that I’ve put a stop to that. I don’t have the time to play games when it comes to friendships.”
Giovanna added that there is a really important reason for why she is sharing this with her sons now – she wants them to learn from her mistakes.
“There will be those who might find you annoying, needy, weird or loud. Trust me, though; there will be far more people who think you’re wonderful, intelligent, funny and kind – focus on them instead,” she urged.
“Let those be the type of people you give your time and share your lives with.”
Giovanna wants her boys to experience and enjoy ‘good friendships that leave them secure and happy’, and we can think of no greater lesson to teach them at such an early age.
There’s another lesson to come from this, though – and that is the power and beauty of the bond between siblings.
Giovanna assured her little ones: “You will always have each other. If you’re anything like me, your Aunty Giorgina and Uncle Mario, you’ll drive each other mad at times, but you’ll also be the best of friends.
“Don’t underestimate the unconditional love that comes from family.”
Buzz and Buddy are very lucky indeed to have a mum who loves them so much.
