Most mums find that while they would blithely spend a fortune on a new top or a holiday in their carefree single days, every purchase post baby is a source of guilt and worry. There are a few ways you can minimise your money.
The first step in banishing spending guilt is to look at your budget and build in some money that’s just for you. Even if you’re a stay at home mum, you’re still working and you need to have something to show for that. It doesn’t have to be a fortune, but if you build in a little spending money that’s just for you, you won’t feel guilty when you have lunch with a friend, have your hair done or buy a new pair of shoes. Being a mum is hard work and you deserve a little something special for your efforts.
The next common cause of mum’s money guilt is overspending on their children. Experts agree that as long as your children have the basics, they don’t need anything else. Often, however, mums find that they can spend on their children and get the shopping high that comes with that, without the same kind of guilt as they do when they buy something for themselves. So they find themselves splurging on toys and gadgets that their children don’t actually need to make themselves feel good. It’s not a good substitute for taking care of yourself, and if it gets out of control, you could find yourself in financial trouble anyway. Not to mention that the most important things you can give your child – love, attention and time – don’t come at a price.
Money is seen (justifiably) as a necessity to raising children. Healthcare, food, housing and education all come at a price. However, instead of worrying about money, or hoping for a job that pays more, you should be focusing on getting your finances in order, making sure that you have a sound financial plan and that you’re saving for the future.
Then there’s the fact that money is keeping us away from our families. Most working mums out there say that they would rather spend more time with their families than make more money. However, those same mums are buying designer clothes, spending on fancy cars, private schools and other luxuries. Cutting back on expenses means having to work less and that means more time with your family. It’s all a matter of prioritising your goals. It’s also been found that the one ‘luxury’ most mums would like to have is a housekeeper. That’s because even working mums are still doing the lions share of the housework, childcare and other traditionally ‘women’s’ roles. There are a few options here though; speak to your partner about sharing the household duties more evenly, hire a casual helper on weekends, or a teenager to baby sit for a few hours. Also don’t expect to be superhuman. You can’t work a full day, be a great mum, cook four course meals and have a spotless house. You have to prioritise and spending time with your family should be number one.
More and more often these days, mums are the ones managing finances. While that’s not a bad thing, it doesn’t mean you need to worry about money alone. Speak to your partner or family about money issues that are worrying you, and come up with solutions together. If you can’t work it out on your own, speak to a financial adviser. Make financial decisions, and actions, something that everyone in your family is responsible for and share the load.
