Is it teething time for your little one?

Periods are a fact of life, and like every fact of life, they are something we must simply accept and deal with.

But that doesn't mean we should be forced to suffer in silence and pretend like everything is A-OK for five days of the month when it most certainly isn't.

No matter how old you get, the vast majority of us revert to teenagers when we're forced to deal with the practicalities and emotional turmoil which accompanies our menstrual cycle.

Any of these thoughts ring a bell?

1. “Already? Didn't I deal with this just last week?!”

I really need to achieve more life goals between periods.

2. “Everything from my chest down weighs about 30 stone.”

I can't be expected to function properly when I'm carrying the weight of three people beneath my bra.

3. “How can I be so very gassy and so very constipated at the same time?”

This definitely wasn't in the brochure.

4. “Are sweatpants office-appropriate?”

They should be – I'm calling a meeting about it.

5. "I know those sock puppets shouldn't be moving me to tears, but I love my babies!"

My babies are the best babies in the world.

6. “Have they invented hotwater bottles that can be strapped around your middle yet?”

They're missing a trick there.

7. “I'm going to vomit or cry.”

Maybe I'll do both – that'll be fun.

8 “I need to sneeze. Oh God, I need to sneeze”

No, no, no, no there goes my underwear.

9. “How many days do I have left of this?”

Four-and-a-half?! For the love of...

10. “I need to shower, take painkillers, cry, eat , shower again and I have precisely 11 minutes to do it."

That doesn't add up.





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