So, with the end of the Christmas holidays comes the start of a new school term and many of us have certain thoughts around this time of the year.
If you have had any of these musings cross your mind in the last day or so, fear not! You’re really not alone, ladies.
1. “I’m glad Christmas is over.”
Thinking that is practically against the law, right? OK I won't say it out loud...just in case.
2. "With the kids back at school, I can hide their most irritating new toys without being caught!"
I'm literally trying to get rid of my child's source of joy. What is wrong with me?
3. "It'll be good for the kids to get back into a regular routine"
I won't have to pick any more sugary cereal bits out of my bed covers until at least half term!
4. "My children will be the most obedient, organised children in the school this term"
2015 is the year my son learns that school ties are kept in the wardrobe and not down the side of the couch.
5. "My home is going to look like something from a Christmas catalogue next year"
I actually married someone who thinks a farting Santa Claus is a suitable living room decoration.
6. "I am going to teach my daughter how to make a full Christmas dinner before she hits her teens"
I don't want to find her crying in the shed holding a raw turkey like I once was.
7. "My son is going to learn how to properly wrap and present gifts before next Christmas."
How can a 15-year-old need a trip to A&E after using safety scissors to wrap a book?
8. What will it be like when Santa stops visiting?
That can never happen. I'll see to it myself that they believe until their forties.OK, that's that settled.
9. Gosh, I miss the sound of the kids bickering in the front room.
Only three hours until they're home and you morph from mum to referee again.
10. I hope my painfully honest children don't tell their teacher about the screaming match that took place during Christmas dinner.
Wait, why should I worry! That makes us normal, right?!