With the school holidays looming, you may have decided to treat yourself and the gang to a couple of weeks abroad.

While sun, sea and sand suggest a fortnight of utter joy, us mums know that a family abroad with the kids can be far from idyllic.

Between mosquito bites and dodgy tummies, the time away can be fraught with tension and chances are you often need a personal holiday to recover from the family one.

If you're planning a trip away or have ever boarded a plane with your brood, then chances are at least one of the following thoughts has found its way into your brain.

But if you're anything like us, then you've probably given all 20 much consideration!

1. Christ, does the tip of his ear look red?
 

"Get over here! You need more cream!"
 


2.  She’s surely not their mum. Look at that figure.
 

"Au pair, has to be."
 


3. No, you can’t ask to use their lilo again.
 

"Only if you're polite, honey."
 


4. What in the name of God is that?
 

"Aw honey, thank you. Yes, I most certainly will wear my seaweed crown."
 


5. Stop looking at that. You’re not getting it.
 

"Yes of course you can...with your pocket money."
 


6. Would it kill them to hang up their togs?
 

"We’ll be known as the family covered in mould. Do you want to be known as the mouldy family? Do you?"


7. Christ, look at the back of his knee!
 

"Get over here! You need more cream!"


8. No, your new friend can’t come to dinner because I don’t like him.
 

"Let him go ask his mummy and we’ll see."
 


9. How have they gone through every pair of shorts already. It’s day three.
 

"No more outfit changes. You’re not Kate Moss."
 


10. Has that man I married moved in the last 12 hours?
 

"You’ll get bedsores on that lounger, love."
 


11. That sombrero couldn’t look cuter on her.
 

"Get into a photo with your brother, pet. And act like you know each other. I'll wait all day, kids."
 


12. I have to stop making excuses not to go to the water park.
 

"Yes, honey, I’m disappointed too, but it’s Daddy’s rules today."
 


13. Why is she crying?


"Honey, don't panic but, get away from that thing right now!"
 


14. Is that that annoying family from last night?

"Oh kids, let's head back to the hotel. Quick."
 


15. If he asks me for one more thing, I'll scream.

"I can't hear you."
 


16. Why are they so quiet?

"What's happening in there?"
 


17. No, you can't play hide and seek with Daddy's sunhat.

"I don't care how embarrassing he looks."
 



18. I hope they haven't put anything ridiculous in their luggage.

"Open them. Now."
 


19. If they ask about that pilot one more time, I'll lose my reason.

"I don't know honey, why not ask the lovely air stewardess?"
 


20. We have got to be the most unruly, dysfunctional family at this resort.

"Oh no wait, look at that gang over there!"
 

 

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